Today I'm Happy

I had a good week this week. Work was good, home was good. It ain't easy juggling three lives: professional life, "daddy" life, social life. And each one is equally important to me, as it should be.

For anonymity let's call the love of my life, 'Antonio' (he'll know why - and no not just because he's latino lol). Antonio and I are doing fine. We've been going strong for over a year now and for the most part it's been great! There have been some bumps along the way (what relationship doesn't have it?) but we've been getting to know each other on a deeper level and really getting to know each other. Yea we've discussed moving in and I'm ready for it. At first I was scared, nervous, not sure if our two worlds could neatly mesh into one. I'm a pack-rat. (No, not a slob), but I do save things. Hold onto things longer than I should. And my man is a minimalist-doesn't hold onto much. Naturally we're gonna bump heads when we merge into a family, but if that's the extent of our "problems" then I welcome it. It could be a lot worse!

Though we spoke of moving in, I haven't mentioned it to my son. I'm actually waiting until we go on vacation this year, to bring it up to him. I want him to feel secure and to know that I'm his dad no matter what and that I love him very very much. I also want to impress upon him that Antonio will be with us for the long haul. I'd be naive to think it would be smooth sailing. I know there will be questions and a true heart-to-heart. But I think its about time. I don't want to keep this from my son. I believe he can handle it. I also don't want to deny myself happiness. I used to be all about my son and thought I had to live for him first and foremost and deny myself. I thought it was my responsibility. I asked my friends what they thought and they all said that if I truly found love, I deserved to be happy now. Our lives would only be enriched with all three of us in the picture. Antonio also said (and yea I agree) that it would be easy telling him now as opposed to when he's a teenager and as most of us know, that comes with its own set of issues! It would be harder then. I wanted to prepare and anticipate all the questions and have everything ready. But in actuality it's like having a baby: You want to prepare, but truth is, you're never really are. You accept it and handle your business. This is going to take some getting used to. For all of us. Since my son was about 10 months old, it's just been the two of us. Now he's nine. It's time that he share my attention. There'll be an adjustment period, but I have no doubt, I've done a good job and he'll come around. When he gets older, he'll know he was loved by me and Tonio.

I know it can work. We have all the elements for a hit reality show, if that's not an indicator, I don't know what is! Seriously, on our vacation, I'm going to sit my son down and let him know that daddy and Antonio love each other and that we love him very much. So much so that we want to live as a family. I can't wait to see his reaction. The good thing is we'll be by ourselves for like 3 days before Tonio comes down. I already have two books:

Daddy's Roommate

and

Daddy's Wedding

by Michael Willhoite. It's a picture book for children to see and accept two men living as a "family" with a child involved. It took me a while to locate the books, but I'm glad that I did. This will help me with "the talk" with him and assist with any questions he may have.

This summer should be one that I'll never forget!