At work, my department is moving to a different floor. There’s one thing about moving, that I’m sure you will agree with me, that is by far the worst…the packing! We have several tall file cabinets that have to be emptied. It’s a task that I put off for over a week now, today I had to finally "go in".
At first I was just mindlessly throwing away files, papers, envelopes, binders and everything in between. I was about three or four cabinets in when my overanalyzing-self took over. I was looking in the cabinets with the color-coded hanging folders, in bright greens, yellows, oranges, and blues. Matching manilla folders with the tabs cut out in multi-postions. Each folder meticulously identified with a neat, dymo label with the organization name on the front.
In my head I began comparing the time it took to organize the folders, get all the materials together, and devise a plan to make this cabinet functional, well organized and run smoothly. It took days, maybe weeks to plan and get everything in perfect order.
I compared this to the weeks, months, even years it takes to nourish and support a good relationship. All the hard work and commitment it took to get the cabinets at their peak, it only took minutes to open the drawers, and throw it away, because no one wanted it anymore. Much like when people don’t want a relationship anymore, all the hard work, commitment and dedication it took to get that relationship working-is thrown away.
TIPS on LOVE
Empathize – Put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Rather than impose your own expectations, try to understand how they feel, where they come from and who they are.
Love unconditionally – If you have no intention of improving that person’s life, or allowing that person to be themselves and accepting them as they are, and not who you want them to be, then you are not striving to love them unconditionally.
Expect nothing in return – That doesn’t mean you should allow someone to mistreat or undervalue you. It means that giving loves does not guarantee receiving love. Realize that someone may have a different way of showing his or her love for you; do not expect to be loved back in exactly the same way.
Realize it can be lost – If you realize that you can lose the one you love, then you have a greater appreciation of what you have. Think how lucky you are to have someone to love.
BE MINDFUL
People in love are sensitive to each other’s needs, and endeavor to meet them even when they do not feel like doing it.
People who are truly in love are considerate of each others feelings and courteous in their actions toward one another. Sadly sarcasm is a way of life for some couples. They ridicule each other, belittle each other and trade jibes with a fury. They may say its all in fun, but it leaves wounds that will someday become festering sores.
People who are truly in love look out for their mate’s best interests as much as their own. Those in love should be concerned not only about their own individual interests, but about the interests of the other as well.
People who truly love control their anger when the other displeases them. We are all human, and all humans feel anger periodically, but we only express our anger in destructive ways when we count on someone else to meet our needs.
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