Not A Day Goes By...

Today was a great day. Junior and my mom finally made it down to Florida. It was a regular reunion. When my niece and nephew saw Juney, they hugged and 'caught up' with the latest TV shows (Ben 10, Hannah Montana, Fairly OddParents, etc.) Wii games, toys and all else that kids their age talk about. It was a sight to watch. My mom was able to 'catch up' with my brother and sister-in-law. It was good to see my family together. All that was missing was my baby brother and dad. (Baby brother was back in NY, he and his girlfriend had just got back from the Dominican Republic, and dad was in Tampa-parents are divorced).

Antonio and I were texting today-a lot. Later that night we spoke on the phone for over two hours (two hours, twenty minutes to be exact...anal I know). We chatted about his cruise, my trip, his sister, my family, beaches, theme parks, him being back at the job, me being on vacation. It was a pleasant, fun conversation. It really highlighted for me how much this man was cemented into my life. I know he'll be a permanent fixture no matter what. You don't meet too many people nowadays that make a huge impact in your life. But when you do, you NEVER forget them. We may not be together now, but he's still a huge part of my life and always will be. I love this man. I know some of you may think I'm open, sprung, on his d*ck, a fool...whatever. This is my life and this is how I'm feeling. I won't even try and fake the funk. You can lie to others, but you can't lie to yourself. I'm just "keepsin' it real!". LOL Seriously, I've been in two long term relationships before and I believe I've been in love once before, but both of those relationships, fall short of what I feel for Tonio. He's given me so much more than both of my previous relationships ever did. A sense of myself. A sense of being who I was meant to be. A sense of who I am. Confidence. Respect. Loyalty. He's made me see life with brand new eyes. How do you thank someone for that? How do you detach yourself from that mental mind mesh? (More importantly, can you?) If it were just physical, I could have gotten over it a loooooong time ago. This is something else. This is a life change. This is what it means to have found your soul mate. This is what it means to be truly in love. Love is a work in progress. Love is shared and felt. Love is physical, emotional, mental. When all things line up perfectly, love can be the strongest force on Earth. I don't regret a day of knowing this man.

I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I know there are other people out there that either one of us could end up with, but what we had, was the perfect (yes I said perfect) compliment for each other. I believe that we were at different places in our lives. He, being more secure and comfortable and me (as with most things in my life-being a late bloomer), not as secure or comfortable. But trust me I'm catching up. Talking with my family has been good for me. They may not agree or 'approve' of my life, but they've GOT to respect it. When they see how strongly I feel, they'll have no other choice. I know that God gives us situations that we alone must interpret and handle for ourselves. I also know that nothing in this life comes easy. If you truly, truly desire something, you must work hard at it. So that when you get it, you not only appreciate it, but you know that it could be gone in an instant. NEVER take anything for granted.

Not a day goes by when Antonio hasn't come across my mind at least a hundred times. Whether I'm having the best day, or a stressed day. Tonio and I have a bond, a connection, an understanding, a language all our own. Nothing can come between that, not even ourselves. Does that make sense to you? If not too bad, it makes sense to me! :-P Like Alicia Keys says, "No one can get in the way of what I'm feelin'"

Well Juney and I leave for Orlando tomorrow. We take the train from Jacksonville. From Orlando, we'll pick up the SUV I rented then head to the house. We'll probably hit DisneyWorld, Universal, etc. Tonio will be coming in on Friday morning, so it will be nice to do Sea World together. I haven't been in such a long time and it'll be a first to both of them. That in itself is special and a treasure I will truly enjoy.