I'm at my brother's house. Showered, shaved, smelling fresh. Today was an interesting day. I went over the events of last night. After my sister-in-law and the kids knocked off. My brother and I stayed up talking and reminiscing about growing up, etc. We soon came around to talking about us. He started. Telling me how he lost his job a few months ago, it was scary. Now that he had a family that depended on him, what would he do about insurance, etc. Then out of nowhere almost without thinking I told him how I would love to leave NY and then I blurted out ab out my sexuality. I heard myself say it, but couldn't stop myself and didn't want to. He was quiet at first, then he said it didn't matter to him and that we will always be brothers. It felt good to say it out loud. It felt good to let people know I'm still the same person I always was and that they know. I kind of suspect, he suspected, but now it was confirmed for him. Good. If I'm to be confortable in my own skin, I have to be comfortable with people around me. It's a start.
This morning I slept in. I did awake around 6:30-ish, but realized I had nothing to do and went back to sleep. (Damn it felt good!) I got up around 9:30 AM, brushed my teeth, washed my face and went out on my brother's patio and hit his weight machine. I worked on arms for about thirty minutes, then hit the shower. My sister-in-law made breakfast and we headed out. My brother went to work and we, along with the kids hit the malls and park. I'm proud of myself, for the most part I just window-shopped. It was tempting, but I held strong. We went to a couple of malls and we drove around while new buildings, constructions sites and areas were being pointed out to me. About two hours in, I decided I wanted to eat someplace that we didn't have in New York. It was settled. We ate at 'Chicken Koop'. It came highly recommended by the locals. This place looked like a home, renovated into a fast food place. The manager, who was on a cordless phone the entire time on a personal call I'm sure took our order. I wanted the four piece strips with their famous 'tangy & sweet sauce' and crinkly cut fries. Normally I would have drank water, but hey...I was on vacation, so I ordered the Fanta Strawberry soda!!! Delicious. The chicken lived up to its reputation. The sauce had a hint of cinnamon, hot sauce, honey mustard and other flavors all combined to make one heckuva tasty lunch!
After lunch we went sightseeing in downtown Jacksonville. There's a lot of undeveloped land that's now being utilized. A lot of condos and businesses going up all over. There's an outside park for the kids that's huge! It was closed due to the storm (that damned Fay still leaving behind her memories!). We went to one of my favorite stores, Walmart. Surprisingly I didn't lose my mind. Just bought a few groceries and a birthday card for my goddaughter. The weather's been kind of unstable. One minute the sun is shining, next it gets gray and dark and the rains in heavy sheets of water. If it were New York, that might last for a day or two, but in Florida it doesnt't last long, thank goodness.
Antonio texted me earlier in the day to say he was in Tampa and awaiting his 6:30 PM flight back to NY. We texted on and off for most of the day. It was like old times. We were bringing the other up to speed on the day, cracking jokes, etc. Instead of that old cliche' 'Out of sight, out of mind', I think the opposite holds true, 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder'. I'm not surprised. It'll be some time (if ever) that I can truly not think about him. He's been really monumental in my life. He was at the airport hoping to catch a standby flight and get home earlier. The first one was no good, but the second one was the charm. He would leave at 3:15 and be home by 5:30 PM I know he was happy.
Also during the day I spoke with my mother and jr. They were on schedule and on their way to Florida. Their train to arrive at 6:55 AM tomorrow morning. I can hardly wait! Junior called on my mother's cell phone to ask how I was doing and that he'd see me tomorrow. I could hear the eagerness and anticipation in his voice.
Today I had mixed emotions. I was elated, nervous, a little pensive, but felt relaxed. I guess knowing that I won't be at work this week was enough to put my mind and body at ease. I need it! Since January the job has been hopping, which is a good thing, but it can wear a person down. This week and part of next week, would be dedicated to relaxe and rejuvenate.
As I lay my head down, I'll dream of 'happy boi' thoughts and get a good night's rest. I'm happy. I feel happy, oh so happy. I feel happy and witty and GAY... LOL Vacation '08 starting off with a bang and I'm loving it.
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