A Good Cry

...Now the time has come to leave you,
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go'

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go


Tonio leaves early tomorrow for his cruise. He's gone for a week. When he returns, I would have already left for Florida. Earlier today he called to ask a question about parking his car on my block since we don't have alternate side of the street parking. When he called he was actually on my block. I would have given anything to spend this last day with him before he left, but under the circumstances, that wasn't going to happen. Ever since he called, I couldn't shake the feeling that I had to let him know how I felt. Without rehasing everything and getting long-winded, I had to say a few brief words. I kept going over in my mind what I wanted to say. Then about a few minutes to 11 PM, I texted him. I told him to have a safe trip and to enjoy himself. I also added, that I missed him and loved him very much. I didn't expect a response. I just really wanted him to know my feelings. Four minutes later, I did get a response. He texted back, ' Thanks...I really need this right now...all said, I miss u very much too. :-( ' I didn't know how to take it. Did he mean A) I really need this right now... (sarcastically) or B) I really need this right now...(like he was going through it-the same as me and needed to hear it). Either way he responded and that made my day. I know pathetic right? Can't help it. That's what being in love does. Since I read the text, I kept reading it over and over. I couldn't put it out of my mind. Then the enormity of everything hit me. My eyes started stinging. They got watery and I started crying. I really let it out. Nose running, the short breathing, you know the ugly cry. Up until now, I was angry, sad, upset, but I didn't actually cry. The eyes watered and a tear or two (or three) may have fallen, but not an actual "cry". I guess the pent up feelings and thinking about him and his response, saying that he missed me took it over the edge. Honestly, I needed it. It was a good cry. I feel better. Still miss him and it hurts, but I'm okay. Being the true romantic that I am, I'm going to hold onto my motto 'til the end, 'Amor vincit omnia'.

This time next week I'll be in Florida visiting my brother and his family. I think this vacation will do me good. I need a change of scenery. Time to clear my head and get it together before Tonio joins me in Orlando. Who knows, maybe I'll find a way to go back in time and go back to August 4th, the day before it all went down. It is the Magic Kingdom after all.

Amor Vincit Omnia