A Day To Remember: 9-10-08

Insomnia. What a pain in the butt. You don't sleep during the night, but during the day you head starts to do the "dope fiend nod". That's when your head wobbles back and forth like there's one strand of muscle connecting it to your body. That's what I was doing on the train this morning. I always try to get a two seater at either end of the train, so I can lean up against the wall. I was lucky enough this morning to get one. I put my earphones in, turned the music on and settled into a comfortable position. By the time I awoke somewhere between 86th Street and 59th Street, I felt my head and BAM...my head hit the plastic window. The thud was so loud it woke me up out of my sleep. Normally I would have been embarrassed and turn a nice shade of red. This particular morning, I was so tired, I didn't care. I could have banged my head, shattered the plastic, fallen on the floor, been covered in blood, mouth open wide snoring, all while drooling and I wouldn't have cared! The fact I was getting some sleep-that's all I wanted!

Dee Dee giving birth made me realize that sometimes the things we worry about are nothing compared to what other people are going through. It made me think about how short life is. Be grateful for everything in your life and to cherish each moment.
Tonio and I left work and headed for the train. His house is close to the hospital where Dee Dee is and he offered me a ride. We got out the train station and started to walk toward his car. We heard a voice. As we turned around it was his sister. She offered us a ride to his car. We walked to the van where her husband was waiting. Sitting in the van, all these emotions overwhelmed me. I realized the last time the four of us were together was at the beginning of the summer. We were at their house with junior and we watched a movie. We had a good time, eating popcorn, chips, the works. And here we are again (sans the kids) under different circumstances. Being the emotional wreck that I am, I choked back the onset of tears. I tried to hold it in as best I could. They drove us a couple of blocks and left us by Tonio's car. We said our goodbyes. I got in the car and I was quiet. Tonio immediately picked up on the silence and asked me what's wrong. I said nothing, but he persisted. I thought I was good. I went to speak and out of no where, my eyes started watering and I started blubbering. He kept asking what was wrong and I tried to talk but the words wouldn't come out. I was in full fledge cry-like-a-bytch-mode. At one point I was so disgusted with myself I had to laugh (never stopped crying mind you). I finally managed to get out what was on my mind. The last time we were all together and brought up the issue of our future interaction. It will have to change. There are liberties that we will no longer be able to take with each other. The thought of us stepping back and not being 'best friends' and calling every day and sharing little details throughout the day, hit me all at once. Crying + trying to get my point across = disaster. We had a good half hour heart-to-heart. I felt like such a 'herb'! These issues had been on my mind but I sure hadn't planned on speaking on it today. Actually it wasn't bothering me. But I guess given the right circumstances and the right time, it all came out. We hugged and said we'd talk later.



Once I finally made it upstairs, I saw the proud parents-they were beaming.Dee Dee looked tired but happy. She said, "Now you know I wasn't about to fall asleep until you got here!". We kissed, hugged, talked. Her husband took me one floor down to the NCIU and we saw the baby. He's two pounds and adorable. He's a lot bigger than I expected. He's bigger than the palm of your hand. The doctors all had positive things to say. He is breathing on his own but also has the oxygen tube. He'll probably have to stay in the hospital until his original due date: December 14th. The nurse even let me take pictures. Back in Dee's room, we all chatted and laughed until well after visiting hours. I am so happy for them. They have been trying for so long and now their prayers have been answered.

Another momentous occassion: My mother finally got her driver's license. She took her road test today and passed! She's been taking driving lessons for as long as I can remember and renewing her permit year after year after year after year. When the DMV changed the permit renewal to eight years, it was a wrap! People had no incentive to rush to get their license. That was a mistake.

Anyway... Ma, I'm so proud of you! Congratulations!!