What It's All About

This morning on the train I saw a couple with their two children. One in a stroller and one school age. The couple wasn’t very attractive (both children were gorgeous), could be called 'ghetto', didn't speak 'proper' English nor dress appropriately (though both children had on coats, gloves, hats, scarfs-which was very appropriate for this morning seeing how cold it was!). One thing was very obvious; these two people were very much in love with each other and their children. You could feel the warmth and love that radiated from this little group as they interacted with each other. The mother even corrected the daughter when she pronounced a word incorrectly. The daughter laughed and said, "Oh yeah." The father was very attentive to his children and in between joking and talking with them, he would steal glances over at his wife/girlfriend and touch her hand and give her kisses. You could see the look in their eyes-they appeared to be very much in love. I'm saying all this to say that it doesn't matter what you look like, how you dress, how well educated you are; if you have love and that bond of being together and sharing in the struggle; that makes success so much more sweeter. I have no doubt this couple will be together in 50 years.


FLIP MODE:


A friend of mine (one I’ve known since high school) has been married for more than ten years. She and her husband make an attractive couple. They’re well educated, middle-class people who dress their butts off. Their children attend the best schools. They have a nice house in Long Island, two cars – the works. From the outside: “picture perfect”. But I know the “inside” scoop. She and her husband are miserable. They see other people and could care less what (or who) the other is doing. I don’t get that. I don’t know about him, but she has her picture on different dating websites and hooks up with guys and has a good time. If she's not online, she's out clubbing with her girlfriends. She and her “husband” (if you can call him that, more of a roommate), attend their children’s events and have family outings, but don't communicate with each other nor spend any time together. She says the children aren’t aware (don’t you just love when people say that) of the situation. One of their kids is college bound next year and the other in high school. Children aren’t as naïve as we like to think they are. (Heck, junior knew something was up between Tonio and me from the get-go.) I tried to tell her (in vain I might add) that her kids may not know the depth of the deception, but they are very much aware at the very least that mom and dad are not happy. She believes otherwise. The icing on the proverbial cake was last year. They celebrated their anniversary and made it a big to do. Spent over $6,000 and it was all a lie. In her words: She doesn’t want people to know that she’s unhappy and that her marriage failed. WHAT? How stupid is that?? You spend $6,000 to put on a show. I’m like Rihanna: very entertaining, your shyt is ovah, take a bow!




You only get out of a relationship, what you put in it. The first couple put in time, love, togetherness, while the second couple put in only material things and they’re falling apart at the seams. Yeah every couple has its share of problems and issues, but in the end, it's the love, work and dedication to each other that will ultimately keep that relationship alive. That’s what it’s all about.