Call me morbid, call me morose, but lately I've been thinking a lot about death. Not mine but my grandparents'. Spending time with them and watching them age almost overnight has been weighing heavily on my mind. They raised me and I've never known them to be anything but energetic and vibrant and always on the go. In recent years, my grandfather underwent triple by-pass surgery and my grandmother has been forgetful and now walks hunched over at a snail's pace. Both have slowed down immensely. They're constantly on my mind. Lately I've been losing sleep, thinking of the day when they won't be with me anymore. It terrifies me and it angers me, but I do think of it. What's wrong with me? It's even gotten to the point where I've penned obituaries for them. Being the eldest grandchild and closer to them than perhaps my siblings and cousins, I know I'll be asked to speak at their funerals. Am I being responsible and dealing with this now because I'll be a wreck later or am I just...well morbid?
In any event, I try to push it out of my mind and concentrate on other things, but the thought of 'it' looms in the back of my mind. Have I been watching too much Alfred Hitchcock or do I just want to be ready?
Food For Thought:
Do you think of death-whether your own of loved ones? If so how do you think you'll deal?
3 comments:
well I am fascinated with death to be honest with you...so you wondering about your grandparents death is natural...I mean we all will expire @ some point.
Strangely, this has beocme a thought with my parents. I wonder what I will do. My mom and I are so close I'd probably be a vegetable for quite some time.
GK ~ This is true, just wish it wasn't my every waking thought lately.
CR ~ We'll be a regular salad!!
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