Had a doctor's appointment today. Arrived downtown early, decided to get something to eat. I sit down with my food, next thing I know someone walks over and stands next to me. Feeling an attitude coming on, I turn. I realize it's my ex uncle in-law. Let's call him Steve. My aunt used to be married to him. I haven't seen him in years. He looked great! Let me give you some background:
He and my aunt were married close to eight years. Now I love my aunt. She's a giving person and will look out for you 'til the end. But, she's extremely bossy and needs to have things her way. She always had to be in control; call the shots. I have no doubt that she and Steve loved her very much, but in the end I believe she pushed him away. In the beginning he looked past it because he wanted to be with her. But like anything else, the constant verbal abuse and bickering weathered their relationship. Eventually he got tired of being belittled. Tired of being embarrassed. Her ways was slowly emasculating him-it was the beginning of the end. After eight years, he turned and walked away.
When they split it was a terrible time for my aunt. Her health failed, she lost her job. She was depressed. It was a dark and lonely time for her. Now years later, my aunt is doing okay. She's single, but she has a job she enjoys, but I know she's lonely. She never had any children and lives alone in a big house. She no longer has a husband to welcome her home, give her massages, run out in the middle of the night if she wanted something. Everything that Steve would do to please her. She took him for granted. I know she's had to think about him over the years. My entire family loved Steve. He was the kind of guy that would do anything for my aunt. He put up with a lot where another man would not.
Fast forward to today. Steve lost about 100 lbs, he looks fantastic. He's remarried and lives in Hartsdale, has a great job and has two children. He told me he's the happiest he's ever been. I'm glad, he deserves it.
I love my aunt and I want her to be happy. It's not too late if she would only let go of the tight grasp she has about having everything go her way. It goes to show you, they're two great people -- just not great for each other. I pray that my aunt finds the happiness she so truly deserves.
When you have the 'right one', anything is possible. You're unstoppable! I'm glad I found my 'right one'.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Have you had or have the 'right one'?
4 comments:
I don't think I will ever fully understand the actual interworkings of a relationship. In theory, it is easy to comprehend the concept of a healthy one, but when one gets to going, confusion sets in.
I do agree with you though. At least about them both being good people, just not matched well for the long haul. It sounds like they both learned lessons from one another. I am glad that "Steve" found his happiness and I hope that your aunt finds hers.
KK78 ~ You're right-in theory it should (operative word,'should') be simple. Two people meet, they're attracted to each other, they get married...the end. We know that doesn't quite work that way.
And to add to that, since no two people are alike-if a formula was to be perfected for a couple, it wouldn't necessarily work for anyone else. There are a lot of factors to take into consideration.
Though relationships aren't easy, they don't have to be any harder than we make them out to be. If you want something bad enough, you'll find a way to make it work. And that's without compromsing yourself or your beliefs in the process.
Taking a page from one of my favorite movies, Beaches, don't mean to get all Bette Midler, but...:
"You've got to give a little, take a little,
and let your poor heart break a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
You've got to laugh a little, cry a little,
until the clouds roll by a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
As long as there's the two of us,
we've got the world and all it's charms.
And when the world is through with us,
we've got each other's arms.
You've got to win a little, lose a little,
yes, and always have the blues a little.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love.
That's the story of, that's the glory of love."
sorry for your aunt...it must be killing her to know that she had someone that wanted her and she couldn't allow herself to accept his love...I am glad that I got past that in my life and is able to LOVE the right one...
TGK ~ I'm sure it did bother her somewhat. I made sure not to put too much emphasis on how good he looked or how well he was doing. Kept it general.
Good for you! It feels good doesn't it?!!
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