Had a great Easter...overall.
Spent it with my immediate family: Tonio and Junior -- thanks for a lovely day. To my special guys-I love you with all my heart. And my best friends in the whole wide world. Thank you Fabby, for the food, the atmosphere. You made it very special. I love you.
Baz, Val, Jay et al., thank you for the company and conversation. As always it's an honor to call you my friends. Love you guys.
Okay, okay now back to why I have the Easter Bunny in a noose ---
I was a little perturbed. On Saturday, my mother tells me she invited my aunt and grandparents over for Easter. I told her okay, what time are they coming? Because I have plans. You would have thought I used the last bit of her Oil of Olay Skin Regenerist or something. Her head spun around and she said "You're not going to be there? Where are you going?". I told her I made plans with my friends weeks ago. With her face frowning, she said "They're not your family. How often do you see your family". Right away the Taurus in me wanted to charge at her full throttle and knock her into July 4th. I responded "My friends are my family. They're there for me no matter what without judgment." She looked at me. I took it a step further. I lashed out, "What is the real reason you're upset? What's the problem?" As my voice raised, she backed down.
I suspect...no, I know she's uncomfortable with my relationship with Tonio and that's fine. She'll grow into it-she has no choice. During a recent conversation with Tonio, something he said rings true in this situation. I want my mother in my life because well she's my mother and I love her. But I don't need her in my life. That may sound a little harsh, but she has to realize in the end she has to respect Tonio, "us" and my decisions.
She probably has no idea of some of the things I found out over the years. That growing up there were a few decisions she made that I know she won't want brought up. I wouldn't do that. It's childish. But in the end she was allowed to make those decisions. I'm a grown ass man dawg (a la Cedric the Entertainer in The Kings Of Comedy -- okay I digress) so let me make my decisions. I think I've done okay up until now.
That said I hope all had a great Easter. :-D
How did you all spend the day?
6 comments:
Hey man, I feel you on standing up to your mother. I know it is an uncomfortable situation, because no one wants there to be tension between him and his number one girl, but demanding respect is necessary.
If I may share this, my mother and I have been tense for the last few weeks. I was invited to my father's 48th birthday party, a month ago today. About 35 other extended family members were invited to a really cool spot called the Jazz Caffe (cousins, aunts, uncles, their husbands, wives, boyfriends, girlfriends and even mistresses!!!!!!!)Well, when I asked my mom when we should be there she made reference to the fact that my boyfriend would probably be working. She kept pushing me to come by myself (which really surprised me because they hit it off so well. Turns out that just because she is cool with our relationship, she is still in denial when it comes to letting family know). I initially conceeded because I was shocked. I called her back the week of the party and told her that if my boyfriend or whoever I was dating wasn't invited to future functions then I would not be attending either. I let her know how I felt about her inviting everyone else and their significant others but expecting me to make the drive to another state by myself because she did not want to be uncomfortable.
Well, I did not go to the party and she did not force me to. Things will smooth out, but like you, I had to assert myself, because it only makes for a better situation in the long run.
She may never love your situation, but I believe that she will come to accept it.
As far as Easter goes, I spent it getting my taxes done and spending the evening with my boyfriend and his nephews and niece, watched them open their baskets and gifts and played with them.
yea, it can be rough. i know how that can be. give her some time to process it. like kennyking said, she may never accept your relationship, but hoepfully she will respect it.
is this safe to read?
KK78 ~ Thanks for sharing man. Yea, it's a journey. And it feels like I just started up the hill!
I just have to stick to my guns. It'll get better-it has to.
Anon ~ You're right. She has to learn to respect my relationship.
TGK ~ LOL Yea, it's safe to read.
I would love my children no matter whom they share their lives with...
My Mom gets her balls twisted if I do not share holidays with family also...its not just your Mama baby. ANd Jane is pretty cool, but the holidays...if I had a boyfriend/fiance' she would have an ATTACK if I didnt spend my holidays with her and my siblings.
Thats all.
I am glad you guys had a nice day.
Love, Cas
Cas~Yea I guess you're right. So I won't write her off as certifiable!
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