Achilles Heal

2010-12-25T20:45:00.001-05:00

As I celebrate this Christmas with family and friends I realize how blessed I truly am. Father God thank you for showing me love and for allowing me to love. I am but a work in progress. Thank you for allowing me to learn more about life and myself everyday.

Why

2010-12-25T20:20:00.001-05:00

Why is it you let certain things bother you? Learn how to deal. Learn to cope. Be true to yourself.

Greet the In-Laws

2010-05-13T08:34:00.000-04:00

So my in-laws are here from Puerto Rico. They're staying with us for 11 days. Needless to say I was nervous as heck. Not only are they s visiting their gay son and his partner. Not only are they staying in our house with us. Not only are they meeting our 10-year old son for the first time. But Tonio's dad is a minister and his mother, the first lady of the church. Oh no pressure-but lately -- and it could be just my imagination -- but I smell fire and brimstone very early in the morning. Ha! Just kidding. They've been great. They greet us every morning. Mom cooks us delicious meals for dinner in the evening. We joke and laugh around the table. Junior feels comfortable around them and kisses them hello, good night and goodbye (all without prompting from me mind you). And Tonio is able to connect and spend time with them. It's quite the modern family Rockwell portrait. LOL

I'm sure my in-laws still aren't 100% comfortable but they have both been very supportive of us. It shows in their actions, they're conversations and the overall vibe. I love them. They're terrific. Just goes to show you if you're comfortable in your own skin others have no choice but to get on board or bail. Thanks ma and pa C, for bringing the man i love into this world.

Neether, Neither, Eether, Either, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

2010-02-13T09:59:00.004-05:00

This song is one of my favorites by George and Ira Gershwin, made famous by Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong. As the song suggests there are two sides to every story. It starts off like this:

Things have come to a pretty pass
Our romance is growing flat,
For you like this and the other
While I go for this and that,
Goodness knows what the end will be
Oh I don't know where I'm at
It looks as if we two will never be one
Something must be done:

Then Ella and Louis go on to pronounce the same word, just slightly different
potatoe, potahtoe
tomatoe, tomahtoe
etc.

Ever have a word that when pronounced incorrectly makes your skin crawl? Watching TV last night, I overheard someone announce a date. He said "Febuary". I had to rewind to make sure I heard right..."Febuary" instead of "February"? Then I thought about it, to say it correctly (February) does seem little awkward; a tongue twister. So I figure, what the heck-it could be worse. I'll reserve my skin-crawling for other words that really irk me: "ambalamps" instead of "ambulance" or "pacific" instead of "specific"! Oh yea, I've heard people actually mispronounce these words. Needless to say I had to walk away! Febuary? Hmmm, not bad after all.

The Cage

2010-02-05T12:22:00.003-05:00

Can a lion and a bull share the same cage without killing each other?

As you know Tonio and I moved in together and it’s been little over a month now. We’re in the “adjustment” phase. We’ve had our bumps here and there but we’re jellin’. We (Junior included) are really settling in to this comfortable family life and things are a lot easier. I’ve noticed a change in Junior. At one time he was jealous of Tonio and now he realizes that he has a place in both our lives and he knows we both love him very much. He’s more relaxed around us and settling in. Tonio has been great also. As someone who hasn’t had a lot of experience with children, he’s assumed the role of 'parent' and stepped up to the plate and is doing a fantastic job. I notice he’s careful not to fall into the ‘buddy’ role. All too often that role can get overshadowed with misinterpretations and disaster is sure to follow. In the parent role, Tonio is able to be seen by Junior as someone in the authoritative light, but knows he means what he says and will be there for him unconditionally.

We're coming along very well. Before everyone was going their own way (myself included) we’re now moving in the same direction. We have a common goal and we’re actually learning a lot about ourselves as well. We’re understanding, respectful and mindful of everyone else. As with every family, there will be hiccups along the way, but I feel we’re on the right track to really being a great family. Communication, respect, trust, humor (a lot of it) are all thrown into the blend. Heck if it works this well, we’ll even bottle and sell it!

So I ask the question again – Can a lion and a bull share the same cage without killing each other? Absolutely. In this cage, everyone is treating as a king.

Guns: No Toy

2010-02-05T11:42:00.004-05:00

I may be the only one who thinks like this, but regarding the 4th grader who brought a “gun” to school; I do agree that it definitely went too far. I do believe the principal had every right to tell the child it wasn’t a good idea to bring it to school and take it away from him. Suspend from school? Probably not. I say this because, where do we draw the line? If the gun was a little bigger but smaller than an actual gun, would that have been ok? So some cop could mistake the gun for real and call out to the child to drop it and when the child turns around (of course pointing the gun at the cop) the cop retaliates and fires a round, killing the child instantly only to hide behind him saying “It looked real.” What would the mother say then? Then she’d ask why the principal didn’t ban ALL guns. In this day and age of technology being what it is, guns can and do come in all shapes, sizes and materials. It’s not inconceivable for a gun to be smaller than what we know as average. As small as the toy Lego gun? No…well not yet anyway. If you want your child to play with guns, that’s on you, but don’t let he or she bring it to school. Someone has to take a stand and say “no guns period.” Yes I do think this particular situation was blown out of proportion and the media of course didn’t help but hey, maybe it’s just me.

Journey

2009-12-07T18:27:00.001-05:00

I've been on a long journey. Starting perhaps even before I knew there was one. As I am about to embark on the next tier of my life. I do so full of nerves. Scared. But not a scared that I don't want to. A scared that you get right before something wonderful happens. The butterflies you get in the pit of your stomach that lets you know you're alive. It's definitely a good thing.

I've learned that you can't stunt your growth by allowing guilt to keep you from having it all. You shouldn't punish yourself for living your best life when those around you didn't have the opportunity or drive to live theirs. Everyone has a choice: they had theirs; you have yours. Choose wisely. Live better, fuller, richer. Don't let history repeat itself. You be the trailblazer.

Nothing Can Stop Me If You're My Goal

2009-11-26T06:07:00.000-05:00

For You

2009-11-17T00:00:00.000-05:00

Tell Him About It

2009-11-06T07:35:00.000-05:00

If you're feeling it, share it. Tell him how you feel.

I Knew I Loved You

2009-11-04T06:28:00.000-05:00

Dedicated to anyone who's fortunate enough to have found their soul mate.
Baby, this is our song.

Man In The Mirror

2009-11-03T05:07:00.000-05:00

Looking at the man in the mirror, do you like what you see?
Looking at the man in the mirror, is that who you want to be?
It's not too late, there's time to change.
Or stand your ground, be confident, stake your claim.
Embrace your "you" be proud, don't look back.
Learn from the past, step up and get on track.
Looking at the man in the mirror, do you like what you see?
Looking at the man in the mirror, is that who you want to be?

Now

2009-11-02T21:25:00.003-05:00

November.
Spring and Summer have come and gone. We're now in Fall with Winter sneaking up behind.
Another year is almost behind us. Have we lived up to our resolutions? Have we made this year our best ever?
Hopefully you've learned a little. Hopefully you've grown a little. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually.
I've grown. Constantly learning about myself. I'm a lot more comfortable with myself and understanding who I am.
I've made some good friends this year, and sadly let some go. The timing was perfect and right on time.
I'm still scared but confident. I'm still a dreamer yet realistic.
As I embark on the next chapter of my life. I feel ready, not rushed. I'm ready for love and love is ready for me.

Turn Back Time?

2009-10-28T22:10:00.003-04:00

If you had the chance to go back in time and change the past would you? Would you go back and rewrite history? Turn back the hands of time and change that one terrible day? Those hard couple of weeks? Those harsh, painful months? Those rough years when you didn't know how you'd make it through? But somehow you did. Would you change it?

But...if you did go back and change the past, that would almost definitely alter the person you are now. Not to mention your life, family, friends, even job.

Would you chance that defining moment in time? Was the hurt so bad that you wish you could erase it from ever happening? Or somehow was it all worth it? This is the person you were meant to be. This is the life you were meant to live. This is the family you were meant to have.

Think...think...think...

Red Light Green Light 1 2 3

2009-10-08T07:40:00.002-04:00

There are days when you have red lights and there will be days when you have green lights. Some days you'll have a combination of both.

The trick is not to stop completely when it's looking red. Know that the green is coming. Don't give up. And when it's green know that it won't always be green. Appreciate and be grateful for all those green lights when you have them.

I guess one can relax when the light is yellow. Slow down and look around. Look to the right, look to the left. See which light is coming next.

Defeat Defeat

2009-10-02T00:08:00.001-04:00

It's okay to be down sometimes. It's even okay to be sad. Being upset sometimes is normal. There are times when you may even feel like it's you against the world. It's at these times when you need faith. Faith will get you through. Without it defeat will find it's way in and that's dangerous. It means whatever you're dealing with has won and you've lost. You may be frustrated but you need to stay in the game. You must stay in the game. It's then you realize you're a lot stronger than you thought. You're a winner.

When You Wish Upon A Star

2009-09-24T21:37:00.008-04:00

At work today my manager had a team meeting. We discussed our current workload and new projects coming down the pike and it got me wondering. How well some people are suited for their jobs. How it is that top executives and managing directors and CEO's of companies excel at their jobs. I think of the education and experiences they've had to bring them to this very point- where they are successful and are the best in the business. They enjoy what they do.

I came home and watch Jay-Z on Oprah. He discusses how he came from poverty and life on the streets, selling drugs to becoming a multi-millionaire mogul balancing his fashion empire and still putting out top-selling albums. What makes it interesting is that he never set out to do any of it. He never had a plan in place. Yet he loves what he does and he's the best in the business.

I then watch Daddy's Girls. Where Rev Run's daughters, Vanessa and Angela are in Los Angeles weighing the decision on whether or not to open up a flagship retail store. These are young women who fused together things that they love and are parlaying it into a flourishing business where they are earning money and establishing themselves in the fashion and entertainment world. I wouldn't call them moguls but they're definitely on the right track. Yea their "reality show" may be scripted and not-so "real", but they do have a growing business: Pastry. They're insightful, intelligent and not afraid to take chances.

Jay-Z, Angela, Vanessa are but a few that have found what they love and made it work for them. Authors, sports figures, doctors, entertainers, designers, lawyers, etc. all had a thought. It started with something they had a passion for. Something they enjoyed. A dream. A vision. That vision was massaged and massaged until (as Oprah says) their preparation was met with opportunity.

Today's TV watching has brought to the forefront what I have been thinking about for weeks. I know there's more out there for me. I know I'll need to work very hard and I know I'll be met with rejection, but I can't let that stop me. I'm at a place in my life where I'm more comfortable with myself and more in control. I feel empowered. I'm in a healthy, strong relationship that I absolutely love. I have a family that loves me and I love them. They may not agree with me 100% about everything, but I have their respect. I have a job that I love and that I'm good at, but I want more. Is that being greedy? Should I not strive for more?

Fail or succeed, I want the option. I want to focus on my goals, bring them to fruition. I want that experience. I want to make my dreams a reality. I feel now is the time to act. Now is the time to take advantage of all my resources.

After all a goal without a deadline is a wish.

Take Me Out To The Ballgame

2009-09-21T18:07:00.001-04:00

My son's school called me Friday. I thought 'it's too early in the school year'. The vice principal prefaced the call by saying 'nothing's wrong'. I laughed. She told me junior won two tickets in a lottery to today's Mets game at Citi Field against The Braves. He's excited. This will be his first ballgame. I wonder if they'll win tonight for him.

Babe, we both wish you were here with us. Miss you. Xoxoxo

Sick much?

2009-09-18T11:04:00.001-04:00

Don't you just hate being sick? You dress appropriately, eat the right foods and you still end up sick. I'm convinced it's the weather change. 82 degrees on Monday and 53 degrees on Tuesday. WTF? And lately NY has been showing out.

Calgon take me away!

Time

2009-09-16T23:06:00.001-04:00

Time. It all depends on how you see it.

When you're at work time seems to stand still. When you're on vacation it seems to zip by. When you're a child you can't wait to be an adult. When you're an adult you wonder where the time went.

As an adult I now see those close to me growing older and witness what time has taken from them. For them time is not a friend; but a foe. Time has crept up on them and taken their strength. Taken their memory. Time has robbed them of their inner fire; their hopes and desires.

I look at my son. So full of hope and promise and dreams. For him time is on his side. Time is his friend. He has so much to look forward to. So much to experience. So much to learn and live for.

Time is what we want it to be. Time is what it needs to be.
Time.

-- Achilles

S-E-X

2009-09-08T15:10:00.005-04:00

Today: 2009 we are a society obsessed with using sex to sell everything from video games, to cars, to food and everything in between. Our kids are years ahead of where we were at their age.

This brings me to my question(s): What is an appropriate age to have 'the talk' (the birds and the bees) with your child? Also should that age be standard across the board or should it differ depending on whether you're talking to a boy or a girl?

A friend of mine said not to bring it up until he brings it up. I told her I wanted to act first and at least arm him with the correct information. Once he brings it to me (if he brings it to me), that would mean he's already heard the second-hand crap from the street and already formed his own opinions/thoughts. I want him to hear it from me first.

Question: How old were you when you first heard about sex and who told you about it?

Get your dance on...

2009-08-28T21:04:00.000-04:00

Heard this song a million times. Never knew it was "whores", always thought it was "hoes". Just goes to show you...

Either way it brings back memories.

Cell Phones & Charm Bracelets

2009-08-28T10:35:00.010-04:00

My cell phone alarm goes off this morning. Normally I can turn it off with my eyes closed. Today should be no different, right? Wrong. I'm trying and trying...nothing. Finally, getting annoyed, I open one eye and fumble with the screen wondering why it's not turning off. This goes on for about two minutes and the annoyance is growing. Then it hits me...I'm smashing the screen on my Blackberry, which is NOT a touchscreen phone. I thought it was the iPhone going off. Now fully awake I can't even steal those 5 or so extra minutes. I get up and prepare for the day.

Just when I thought I was done...

I get on the train after dodging raindrops. Of course it started to rain as soon as I leave my house. I find a two-seater and sit in the corner and take out my book and start to read. The next stop this lady sits next to me. Didn't pay it much attention until I hear this irritating noise but couldn't figure out what it was. I shrug it off and continue with my book. A few minutes later I hear it again. I look toward the woman and notice she's wearing a charm bracelet. Not just any charm bracelet with charms of gold or silver jewelry, oh no. This one looked to be made of big chunky pieces of wood and shiny awkward glass pieces that make the most annoying sound when she moves her hands. And she was moving that hand! You'd think she was conducting a symphony orchestra the way that bracelet was shaking! To drown out the sound I thought I'd put on my iPod -- or course I have to put on classical music, otherwise I'd focus on the lyrics and not my book. (Well that's me anyway!) That doesn't work. A couple of stops later, I stop reading altogether, I still hear that damned bracelet. Why can't this woman sleep on the train like everyone else I thought. I put the book away and put turn up the iPod. I close my eyes and relax into my music. I feel a poke in my arm and look up. This same lady with the reindeer bells is now asking me if I can turn down my music. A million thoughts flooded my head. Now, I'm not a confrontational person by nature but something about those damned cowbells got my goat this morning!! I answered, "Sure, as soon as you stop moving your hands with that annoying bracelet." She turned and rolled her eyes, "What?" I widened my eyes and just looked at her. Noticing I didn't actually say anything, she said, "My bracelet is not loud." I was cool and quick with the reply. "It's not loud, but it's annoying being this close to it." Before the lady could respond, this young girl sitting across from us interjected, "Yea your bracelet is getting on my nerves." There's always someone ghettofab on the train-gotta love it. The lady was embarrassed at this point. "Well I'm not taking it off." And of course she exaggerated her movements so her wrist was full throttle. I turned around and raised the volume. The young girl across from us continued, as I guessed she would. She was sitting next to a friend of hers, "Damn. That shit is mad loud, yo. Fuck!" I read her lips and started cracking up. She saw me and laughed. She and her girlfriend kept on with the jokes. The lady next to me was heated, but surprisingly, she remained almost motionless for her duration on the train. At one point I wanted to check her pulse and see if she died! She must've gotten off somewhere between 138th and 86th Street. When I opened my eyes at 86th she was gone.

Chalk it up to New York Transit. Have a good weekend all.

Love

2009-08-26T21:12:00.005-04:00

Love. It's many things.
Love is acting silly. Love is being corny with each other and not caring. Love is being your true self without hesitation and no regrets.
Love is being receptive and ready. Love is letting your guard down. Love is the end of "I" and the beginning of "us".
Love is thinking about the other person and their feelings. Love is giving up some of yourself because you want to. Love can be as strong or as weak as you make it.
Love is all these things and more.
Are you ready for love?

Puerto Rico - Summer 2009

2009-08-22T10:56:00.008-04:00

What do mohawks, Toyota Echos, Nissans, very narrow two-way streets and Burger King have in common? They’re in abundance in Puerto Rico!
It seems like the Mohawk hairstyle was a hit on the island. Young, old, Latin, Moreno, blanquito, it didn’t discriminate. Dry, soaked with gel, short, long, it was ‘the’ “do” of the day!

The Toyota Echo and the Nissan Versa and Sentra were among the most popular cars in Puerto Rico. Because of the narrow streets, the smalls cars fared well!

Coming off of an 8-day vacation with my baby has been the best! We were able to connect and spend quality time together. We met up with a few of our friends to make his 40th birthday a great one! We all had a fantastic time. Thanks to Evelyn Maldonado, Alan, Paul, Maria. You made this birthday vacation memorable for both of us and we’re very grateful. At first I was a saddened because junior didn’t join us. It was the first time we were apart from each other for that long.

I realized that parents need some time away from their children every so often to clear their minds, give them a break and in the end make them better parents for having that break. Next time junior—you’re there!

The places we visited were absolutely amazing! From the heights and the sights of El Yunque (the rainforest), to the historic foundations of Old San Juan and El Morro, to the plush and serene hotels and the gorgeous beaches. I myself am not really a “beach person” per se. Or should I say ‘wasn’t’, I was so enthralled at how everyone’s attitude there was. There were plenty of people on the beach who should under no circumstance (EVER) don on a bathing suit, but nevertheless there they were, suited up and had an ‘I don’t care attitude’.
Not arrogant or rude, but of confidence. This amazed me, since here everyone is so absorbed with how we look and pass judgement on everyone else. This put me at ease. So much so that I had an air of confidence. I put on my bathing suit and Tonio and I hit the beach almost every day. The beach seems to agree with Tonio. He was so content and happy. That made me feel good.

We hit the clubs, ate at different restaurants and of course Starbucks was never far behind if we wanted a mocha frappe or iced chai tea! This had to be the most relaxing, fulfilled vacation I’ve ever had. A special thanks to Alan and Paul for driving with us and sharing in the treasures of the island. We loved having you.
P.S. – Paul, did you hear from Domingo yet??

On a brighter note, Tonio’s parents welcomed us from the very beginning. Tonio’s mother cooked for us, shared old family photos and we all went to visit his family in the different towns where I was introduced to his mothers' brothers and sisters and their families. Tonio’s father, who was said not to be talkative, shared his like of baseball games and wrestling with me. One day out of the blue, Tonio’s dad came up to me in the kitchen and we just started talking. He really opened up. He told me how his father came to the New York when he was a boy and he and his mother came later. How he met his wife when they were young teenagers. How they would write to each other and eventually her moving to join him and begin their life together. He shared when they got married. The different jobs he’s had over the years, raising his children, moving back to Puerto Rico to be with his wife and youngest children, etc. As he spoke in my head I heard Tonio say ("Don't take it personal, he doesn't really talk a lot to anyone.") What surprised me was when he talked about the joys of spending time with his family when they were younger and they would go to the zoo, park, etc., He said it was important that his son (Tonio), myself and Junior do things together as a family. You could have knocked me over with a feather. It was a very special and meaningful talk that I will always remember. Thank you Dad.

As we drove to the airport on our last day, a calm happiness overwhelmed me. I reflected on the past days and thanking God for this time. Between the pictures and our memories, it will go down as one of the greatest moments of my life.

Pasts

2009-08-14T10:50:00.001-04:00

A past. Everyone has one. Whether it was full of good times, or not so good times, you had to have gotten past the past to make it to today. For some the past haunts them and holds them back making it impossible to truly live in the today and now. For others the past is but a distant memory of both positive and negative on which they’ve built a secure foundation to live out the present and claim their future. Yet and still for some the past was so terrible that they’ve either blocked out those bad memories or tried to erase them altogether to protect themselves today and move on. Whatever category you fall into, remember that the past is there for a reason. Good or bad you wouldn’t be here today without it. It happened. You reacted. And here you are today.

When in a relationship, not only do you deal with your own past, but your partner’s past. Whose are you more easily to accept? If you let it, it can become an issue and begin to affect your relationship. Acknowledge that the past did happen and 9 times out of 10 you were not a part of your partner’s life when things occurred, so why beat yourself up over it? Move on, you and your partner have a lifetime filled with love, happiness and your “firsts” together that need to be the core focus for both of you. That’s what matters. That’s what’s important.

I used to question “why, why, why?” when I was younger. Now I answer, “that’s why, that’s why, that’s why”. Could my past have been better? Sure. Do I wish I could change any part of it? Yes. But I can’t. Accepting that reality is the first part of maturing and moving on. I’m grateful for my past. Now I may truly appreciate and cherish what I have today.

Change

2009-07-22T23:57:00.002-04:00

Outed

2009-07-08T19:55:00.002-04:00

While checking out Advocate.com, I came across this article:

Actor Terrell Carter, the star of a number of Tyler Perry’s stage productions in his famed Madea series, was outed over the weekend when his ex-boyfriend posted photos on the Internet of himself with Carter.
The actor, who starred in the stage productions of Class Reunion and Meet the Browns as well as the big-screen adaptation of Diary of a Mad Black Woman, had made a name for himself among female fans of Perry's work.
The alleged ex-boyfriend, Alex Cortez, started posting the pictures on various websites last week before featuring them on his MySpace and Twitter accounts, writing: "Hell yeah i’m angry!…there are fucked up ppl out there no matter how nice they seem to be & it’s their fault, ppl they harm are bitter!"
Black gossip blogs have flocked to the photos. Gossip site MediaTakeOut.com has more than 450 comments, while gossip blogger Sandra Rose, who originally reported that Carter was gay earlier this year, wrote that “99% of the actors in Tyler’s movies are gay.”

It's his business, why are people tripppin'?

Progress

2009-07-07T20:02:00.003-04:00

Out-of-state gay marriages now recognized in D.C.
By Jennifer Vanasco, editor in chief, 365gay.com 07.07.2009 10:07am EDT
News & Politics

As of 12:01 this morning, gays and lesbians who are married in Iowa, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, Connecticut, Maine or Vermont now also have their marriages recognized in Washington, D.C.

The D.C. City Council approved the measure last month, but it was subject to a 30-day Congressional review period. Since Congress took no action, gay and lesbian marriages performed legally in other states are now legal in D.C. as well. No same-sex marriages, however, are recognized by the Federal government.

Says the conservative Washington Times:

“The law will affect everything from tax filing, employer health care benefits, inheritance and hospital visitation rights to mundane activities, such as gym memberships and car rentals.

“Recognition of same-sex marriages performed in other jurisdictions strengthens many rights that were already in place with the District’s Health Benefits Expansion Act of 1992, which allowed gay couples to register as domestic partners and receive some of the same benefits afforded to married couples.

“The act, which did not go into effect until 2002 because implementation was blocked by Congress, has been amended over the years to offer additional benefits that allow same-sex couples to make medical decisions on each other’s behalf, to benefit from hospital visitation rights and to file taxes jointly, among other things.

“The U.S. Census Bureau lists 3,839 same-sex couples as residing in the District, according to 2005-2007 data. And the nearly 33,000 gay, lesbian and bisexual people — single and coupled — living in the District made up approximately 8.1 percent of the city’s total adult population in 2005.”

The End Of A Friend

2009-07-07T11:46:00.004-04:00

A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine who I’ve known for over 25 years basically ended our friendship without so much as a reason. When I asked what brought that on, her reply was we all go our separate ways, but don’t worry, we’ll always have the past.

I was dumbfounded. Now if this was someone who I didn’t care for it wouldn’t matter. But this is/was one of my closest friends. As teens we bonded and hung out at each other’s house. Our families know each other. We were there at some of the lowest times of our lives. We’ve weathered the deaths of friends, our triumphs and pinnacles. And of course some of the better moments: I was present in the delivery room when her daughter was born. We babysat each other’s kids. Through the years we’ve done just about everything best friends can do together. In the last couple of years we have drifted somewhat but not to the extent that I thought. (Silly me!) I’ve still kept in touch, but lately it hasn’t felt reciprocated. Then I send a text to ask when we’re going to hang out and I get hit with that. It’s as if she said, “A slice with pepperoni.” No feeling. No bother. Well it pissed me off. I tried not to think about. But it creeps into my thoughts and the memories stir up. I guess everyone has their reasons for doing the things that they do, so I hold no ill will. If and when she’s ready to explain and delve into what the real issue is, I’ll be here. But knowing that that day may not come - it bothers me. It hurts. But for now I wait.

July 4th

2009-07-04T11:39:00.001-04:00

Fellow bloggers, anonymous readers...No matter what you do today, have a safe and happy 4th of July!

Off The Wall

2009-07-03T19:31:00.000-04:00

Blame It On The What?

2009-07-03T18:58:00.000-04:00

Billie Jean

2009-07-03T18:49:00.000-04:00

Beat It

2009-07-03T18:43:00.001-04:00

Dirty Diana

2009-07-03T18:35:00.001-04:00

Man In The Mirror

2009-07-03T18:34:00.001-04:00

Michael Jackson Day 7/3/09 - Smooth Criminal

2009-07-03T18:21:00.001-04:00

One of my favorites!

R.I.P. Farrah Fawcett

2009-06-25T20:45:00.000-04:00

1947 - 2009

February 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

2009-06-25T20:39:00.002-04:00

1958 - 2009

August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009

Summer!

2009-06-22T10:47:00.000-04:00

Summer's Here...

I Belong To You

2009-06-22T00:54:00.002-04:00

My Forever Came Today

2009-06-21T23:10:00.005-04:00

Well today I got the surprise of my life. Tonio insisted on taking me out for a Father's Day dinner. We have 6:00 reservations in the city. At first I told him we agreed on saving money to move in and we really shouldn't incur this expense. He insisted it was for "Father's Day" and that we should go out and enjoy ourselves for one night. Okay fine, I thought. We both deserve it.

Now this was a crazy weekend: My younger brother comes in from Florida for a visit, we hung out for part of the weekend, while my baby brother moved into his apartment with his girlfriend (soon-to-be-wifey). Between helping him move, carrying boxes and furniture and playing taxi for my other brother, rest was the last thing I would get.
Today for Father's Day, my mom decides to cook. My aunt, cousins and grandparents come for dinner. With everyone together, naturally everyone bought a camera and wanted to take pictures and have a toast to my grandfather. Me being the oldest I was elected to make the toast (it was quite eloquent if I do say so myself). At about the time the first pictures were taken, Tonio called to say he was downstairs. I know what a stickler for time he is so I try to make a dash. My mom calls me to take a picture with my brothers. I try to dash out again, that's when my aunt calls my name and volunteers me to make the toast. Each minute passing, it's getting later and later. I finally give everyone kisses, tell my brother (the middle one) goodbye as he has a plane to catch back to Florida and I head downstairs. As I get in the car, Tonio's face is made. I tell him what happened and I feel the glare on the left side of my face. It's Father's Day, I don't want to argue so I suck it up and try to put it past us. I suggest we call the restaurant and let them know we're running late and push back our reservation by half an hour. He calls, they say no problem, it's 5:22-we're on our way. We head downtown and of course traffic is ridiculous. Tonio weaves in and out, takes a couple of shortcuts and we're in the city. We get to the restaurant at 6:30 on the dot. I'm thinking "We made it." We'll have a nice dinner and celebrate our day.

We finally arrive and we walk toward the back of the restaurant. As we're about to be seated I see someone who resembles one of my best friends, Maria. As I walk closer...it is her! Next to her, lowering the menu so I see his face is Baz. I'm like okay this is a set up. I'm thinking they surprised me for Father's Day. We sit down, I give them a hug and kiss. I'm shocked that they're here. Before I get out another word, Tonio's looking nervous and starts talking a mile a minute. I didn't know what was going on. He says here in front of my friends, he has a question to ask. My curiosity's piqued. He says would I spend of the rest of my life with him...(I don't hear anything past that!) My face is flushed and I'm thinking, 'this isn't what I think it is'. I joke around thinking this must be a joke. I see everyone's serious and looking into his eyes, I see he's not joking. I say 'yes'. He then goes into a bag and pulls out a white box and hands it to me. I'm speechless. My heart's racing and its in my throat. I open the box and take out a case. I open the case and it's the prettiest ring I've ever seen. It has seven diamond going across the top. By now my eyes are watering and I'm choked up. I say yes again and put the ring and give him the biggest kiss. Baz and Maria are looking at us with the "happy faces". Then Baz starts clicking pictures. I was in shock. Everything now made sense. I see why he wanted to go out.

After a delicious meal, we headed down the block for a drink. We had a great time. Heading back home, I kept looking at the ring and things started adding up, like why he was so insistent on going out to dinner and why he was freaking when we were running late. I was so emotional. Today has been a day I'll never forget.

Thank you baby. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. Growing, learning, loving. My forever came today.

To All The Fathers

2009-06-21T10:12:00.005-04:00

Happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there holding it down and providing for their children and making a difference. Enjoy your day!

Baby, and a special Happy Father's Day to you. I know it hasn't been easy and it's probably something you never expected you'd be doing. But as a father you're great. Junior is lucky to have you in his life. There's a lot that you can teach him. I love you.

6.18.2010

2009-06-18T06:01:00.001-04:00

When junior was a baby Toy Story & Toy Story 2 were his favorite movies. We'd watch them over and over and over again until we had the dialogue memorized. It became two of our all time favorites. Imagine our delight when we learned that exactly a year from today the next installment would premiere? Yep Toy Story 3. It's going to be a Friday...I think this may warrant a day off from school/work. ;-D It's a date!

6 1 8

2009-06-18T00:00:00.001-04:00

Hakuna Matata!

WHY?

2009-06-17T16:52:00.000-04:00

Why do people stand in front of doorways, escalators, entrances, etc. and want to talk to one another blocking the flow of traffic? And get mad when people barrel into them or look at them crazy as they stand there.
GET OUT THE WAY!

9 to 5

2009-06-17T11:34:00.004-04:00

One of my managers took our team out yesterday after work. The team consists of 6 people. It was a rough day and all I really wanted to do was go home and rest. In the end I decided to go and not be a party pooper. Glad that I did. It's at these little intimate gatherings that you discover things about your co-workers. You get an idea of how they see you, a you get a little background on them.

The restaurant was fantastic and overlooked the East River. The drinks came. They had white wine, margaritas, "honey bees", while I had cranberry and orange juice on the rocks. :-) They insisted I have a real drink instead of the non-alcoholic one. I shook my head and kept sippin'. We sat outside and enjoyed our time away from the 9 to 5. Regardless of how hectic the day was. Everyone seemed relaxed and we toasted ourselves to a great year so far.

My manager told everyone how she appreciated everyone's hard work and commitment and wanted to thank us, but taking us all out. We laughed, we talked, we shared. It was time well spent. She said she would have another get together at the end of the summer. She was thinking on the west side this time, maybe the Ritz Carlton. She said the sunset from there was a sight to behold. Feeling appreciated we all walked away with full stomachs, feeling good about ourselves and grateful to be a part of a terrific team!

God is good.

Little Things

2009-06-13T09:44:00.004-04:00

A sink with no dishes, a hug without asking, a slow day at work
It's the little things that mean a lot

An unexpected check in the mail, realizing your spouse is your soulmate, getting a seat on a train during rush hour
It's the little things that mean a lot

Discovering your favorite store has a sale...and you have money, your friends are the best in the world, your parents accept and respect you as an adult
It's the little things that mean a lot

You find out your credit card raises your limit, you're broke but your bills are paid, someone tells you they love you
It's the little things that mean a lot

Enjoying your favorite foods, vacationing at your favorite spot, being with your loved ones and cherishing the moments
It's the little things that mean a lot

Opening your heart and falling in love, the smell of bacon cooking in the morning, a baby's first step
It's the little things that mean a lot

Air conditioning on a hot summer day, snuggled in bed under the covers on a rainy day, being content and happy with life
It's the little things that mean a lot

Living to a ripe old age, having the courage to be yourself, being big enough to help someone less fortunate
It's the little things that mean a lot

One Thing...

2009-06-07T19:28:00.004-04:00

Now I lay me, down to sleep

I pray the Lord, my soul to keep

If I should die, before I wake

I pray the Lord, my soul to take

If you passed on in your sleep, what one thing would you want people to know about you?

A Big F'ing Mouth

2009-06-02T14:54:00.005-04:00

So I’m on the train this morning, on my way to work. This teenaged girl is about two feet away from me talking to her girlfriend at what must be at the top of her lungs. She has a slight Jamaican accent and using patois. I found this funny because she was saying how she can’t stand when someone in their circle speaks in Spanish and she feels like asking the girl to ‘speak English, I can’t understand you’.

I was in the middle of reading my latest book, The Beach House and instantly had thoughts of wrapping my hand in her hair and pummeling her face into door, in order to shut her up. It wouldn’t have been so bad and usually I can drown people out, but she had the kind of voice that was not only irritating, but escalatingly (yea, I know that’s not a real word) loud! I looked over at her a couple of times with the ‘You’re-irritating-me’ look, to which she ignored. I couldn’t very well be a hypocrite and expect anything less, I was on New York City Transit after all. I put my book away and put on the old trusty iPod to which I turned up the volume and started humming and moving my head up and down in rhythm to the music. After about the third song, big mouf’s friend giggles and big mouf looks annoyed. My music was probably distracting. Imagine that. Good ol’ Boyz To Men came on with Motownphilly and it was a wrap. I proceeded to do a run through of not only the song but the video. I glanced over and she gave me the look, which needless to say I ignored. Two stops and three songs later, big mouf and party exited the train. I lowered my music and laughed to myself.

I know when I was her age my friends and I had our fun, but dayam! That was too much to take.

QOTD - Question of the Day
Do you think kids today are that much different that kids of say twenty years ago? And if so, what big differences do you notice?

Lonely

2009-05-29T00:25:00.000-04:00

Can't let just anybody hold me...

Boomerang

2009-05-28T22:39:00.006-04:00

I'm so happy. Over last weekend I realized that Cablevision added Boomerang to it's lineup; channel 125. Launched in 2000. It only took til May 2009 to bring it to Cablevision. I suppose better late than never.

Now these are cartoons! These are cartoons that I grew up on when TVs only had channels 2, 4, 5, 7, 9, 11 and 13! When TV actually went off at like 1 or 2 in the morning. It would play the Star Spangled Banner with the U.S. flag waving then snow until like 6 am when the news would come on.

When it paid to wake up early Saturday morning to watch cartoons, because if not by 1 pm, cartoons were over and it was time for the karate flicks on channel 5.

Hanna Barbera was King of the Cartoons! It's so good to relive my childhood (through TV anyway) while watching: Adam Ant, Yogi Bear, The Flintstones, Huckleberry Hound, Penelope Pitstop, Dick Dastardly, Mutley, The Jetsons, Scooby-Doo Where Are You?, Quick Draw McGraw, Ricochet Rabbit, Magilla Gorilla, Bugs, Bunny, Sylvester & Tweety, The Roadrunner, Wile E. Coyote, Top Cat, The Groovy Ghoulies, The Superfriends, Batman & Robin, Tarzan, Speedy Buggy, The Pink Panther, Clue Club, Chan and the Chan Clan, The Smurfs, The Snorks, Josie and the Pussycats, Josie and the Pussycats in Outer Space, The Banana Splits, Wacky Races, Popeye, The Funky Phantom, Captain Caveman, Fangface, Mighty Man and Yuck, Johnny Quest, The Herculoids, Tom & Jerry, Snagglepuss (who I now know as an adult is gay as a fruit basket-did I really need him to be pink to guess that!), Courageous Cat & Minute Mouse, Richie Rich, just to name a few.

One drawback, with these oldies finally on, I can't sit back and reminisce because junior is also fascinated with the old school cartoons and watches it right along with me. He won't go in the other room to watch his cartoons. Says he likes mine better. Great...

Why?

2009-05-26T09:18:00.003-04:00

Why is it we say to ourselves that we're not going to say something and then we do? Case in point: I was saying to myself if anyone (at work) asks how my weekend was I was just going to say it was good and leave it at that. No sooner than I walk in the pantry a co-worker asks 'How was your weekend?'. I turn and say it was good, then go into detail about some of the mundane things I did. Ugh!! What is that about? LOL
Oh well just something I wanted to jot down. Enjoy.

5

2009-05-26T09:04:00.000-04:00

Who You Gonna Blame?

Feel it

Reconnect

2009-05-24T09:50:00.006-04:00

It's good to reconnect with friends every once in a while. One of my best friends Dee Dee, I haven't seen in a while. Though we talk more often it's not the same. Yesterday I met up with her and her husband and the baby. Remember him? He was the one born prematurely last September. Well he's now 8 months and the correct height and weight for a baby his age. He's adorable and very energetic! I feel sorry for them when he starts crawling.

Dee Dee and I caught up on each other's lives. Shared pictures, stories, talked about the past. It was a great day. I felt like our friendship was renewed.

At one time we were inseperable. Always either at her house or mine. As we grew older our priorities and interests changed and we inevitably 'grow up'. Like most friends, with our busy lives, hectic work schedules, etc. we haven't been in close touch as we used to be. To remedy that, every so often my friends and I make it a point to pick a time and place and we'll all show up. We make a whole day of it. We'll bring the kids, our spouses, food, pictures, etc. and pick up where we left off. It's important for our relationships. These are the people that knew us before any of us had kids or were with our spouses. It's important to be well rounded: work, family, friendship -- it's great when all are in sync and nothing lacking.

Question of the Day:

Have you had any friends that you haven't heard from in a while? If so, why?

Silent Prayer

2009-05-23T07:34:00.000-04:00

For now and for ever more, I send to you my silent prayer.

Really Taking It Back

2009-05-22T19:29:00.003-04:00

-----Stop The Violence Movement-----

The fashions are sooooo dated!! LOL

I Love Your Smile

2009-05-21T08:11:00.000-04:00

Baby, I love your smile. I really do.

Right Here

2009-05-20T21:58:00.001-04:00

What's It Gonna Be?

2009-05-19T08:26:00.000-04:00

Friends...How Many Of Us Have Them?

2009-05-18T21:33:00.001-04:00

Birthdays -- Come once a year. Some people don't acknowledge it. Others are proud to shout it. Some look well beyond their age, others look well below their age. Others have trouble counting and stay the same number twice even three times. Birthdays, everyone has one.

They say you can pick your friends but not your family. If that's the case, I hit the jackpot! Yesterday was a very pleasant surprise. I saw friends I haven't seen in years, met some new ones and strengthened my existing life-long buds.

Thank you
Tonio

Maria, Baz,

Slugger, Derrick
Herbie, Nancy
Evelyn
Glenn, Andrew
Sean

You guys rock!

Toward the end, we even managed to put a ring on it.

Can You Feel It?

2009-05-13T22:06:00.001-04:00

Gonna Party Like It's My Birthday

2009-05-11T11:23:00.011-04:00

Had a great time yesterday. It was a quality day with just Tonio and myself. My mom and junior went on a Mother's Day dinner cruise with my grandparents. After each doing the Mother's Day thing, Tonio and I headed out.

We hit a soul food restaurant in the city where I absolutely, without a doubt, ate way too much. But hey it's not everyday I get to eat good meal withouth having to do the dishes, so I went for it! I had smothered pork chops, potato salad, macaroni & cheese, collard greens while Tonio had the B-B-Q pork chops with a sauce that was out off the chain!! It was finger-lickin' good. I should know, people looked at me funny as I licked the sauce off his fingers! To top it off the waitress brought over a piece of cake with a candle in it and starts to sing 'Happy Birthday', while half the restaurant joined in. Yea I turned as red as a beet.

From there we hit the movies. Saw Star Trek . It was all that. I have to admit, I was pretty skeptical about the storyline and how it was going to be put together. I needn't have worried. It was a crowd-pleaser from beginning to end! The casting was great, the plot was good and the bits and pieces we learned from the characters made it a very informative and entertaining movie! It had just the right amount of action. Just the right amount of humor and enough to keep us engaged without losing the audience. We both enjoyed it thoroughly!

It was a great evening. Quiet, intimate, perfect. I've never been a 'birthday' person. Didn't like to celebrate mine or make a big fuss. I've always liked celebrating others'. But lately as I'm running into people who I either went to school or grew up with, and I'm finding out that many people I knew growing up are not with us anymore. They've passed on. It made me think. I'm fortunate to be able to celebrate another year. Something I took for granted. I'm looking at my birthday with brand new eyes. I'm learning to count my blessings. When your special day comes around - celebrate. If for nothing else, think of the people who wish they could but never got the opportunity.

The Boss

2009-05-10T10:47:00.000-04:00

May 10th - Taurus

2009-05-10T00:57:00.006-04:00

Fred Astaire born (Frederick Austerlitz): May 10, 1899
American film and Broadway stage dancer, choreographer, singer and actor.

Linda Evangelista born: May 10, 1965
International Supermodel

Bono born (Paul David Hewson): May 10, 1960
Singer, musician best known as lead singer with rock bank U2

You Only Get One - Happy Mother's Day

2009-05-10T00:01:00.001-04:00

Dedicated to all the mother's out there. This is your day. Enjoy.

If I Were Your Woman

2009-05-09T09:35:00.001-04:00

The 70's were an unforgiving time; fashion-wise. And I have the striped and plaid outfits with the butterfly collars with buckle shoes to prove it!
Fortunately it didn't affect the music. Gladys' vocals are as awesome as always (even if the clothes aren't).

X Marks The Spot

2009-05-08T09:48:00.001-04:00

I'm a huge X-Men fan. And I have the plastic milk crates of comic books to prove it. Is the movie franchise getting carried away...yes. But I'll still be there to support Marvel. My son who is becoming a fan has questions as to mutant origins and I'm there to fill in the blanks. Over the past weekend, Tonio, he and I saw 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine'. Loved it. Not exactly in the same vein as the previous X-Men movies, but it was a welcomed edition.

From E! Online:
Wolverine Sequel Already in the Works

X marks the spot for a Wolverine sequel.
Just two days after Hugh Jackman's domination of the box office—Box Office Mojo estimates the film's worldwide gross at $158.2 million and counting—comes the rather unsurprising word that a follow-up to the origin story is already in the works.
According to Variety, the sequel, which will mark Jackman's fifth time donning the killer claws, will focus on the X-Men comic's samurai storyline, the Japanese locale setup for which is teased after the blockbuster film's end credits.
Meanwhile, the action star Oscar host is showing no signs of slowing—or being typecast—with no fewer than four other projects in the works, one of which will be a 2010 return to Broadway as the titular Houdini.

It's official: The mutants are taking over Hollywood. And we're not talking about the freaks running the studios.

Following the monster weekend for X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and a day after announcing that a Hugh Jackman-powered sequel is in the works, 20th Century Fox has confirmed to E! News that Jackman's costar Ryan Reynolds will be given his own spinoff and potential franchise-launcher as the Marvel Comics antihero Deadpool.
The 32-year-old Canadian actor, otherwise known as Mr. Scarlett Johansson, will again star as Wade Wilson, a wisecracking, cancer-stricken mercenary who's cured of the disease after undergoing the same Weapon X genetic alteration as Wolverine.
But along with superhuman powers, enhanced strength and self-regenerating healing powers, the slightly unhinged Deadpool can absorb the abilities of dead and captured mutants.

Aside from Deadpool and the Wolverine sequel, Fox is also working on an X-Men spinoff focusing on Ian McKellen's villainous Magneto and another dubbed X-Men: First Class, which is being written by The O.C. creator Josh Schwartz.

A Matter of Etiquette

2009-05-07T09:58:00.002-04:00

If you're going to have your cell phone on 'tone' instead of 'vibrate' at the office, have the decency to at least put it on soft chirps or bells. Don't be a knucklehead and have tones of the latest song blaring so that when someone calls you, everyone hears "bitch", "fuck", "ass", like ten times in a row. Doesn't look good and probably won't do anything for your career.

If you get into a crowded elevator, you take a spot where you can, granted. Even if you're uncomfortable-it will only last for a short period. As people get off the elevator, MOVE to an open space. I hate it when it's like 2 or 3 people in the elevator and they stay in the same spot they were in when it was crowded! You have the whole elevator. MOVE YOUR ASS!

If you're carrying a long umbrella, when you walk be careful so that when you bring your arm back in full swing you don't hit the person in back of you. It's surprising how many people don't realize this. Incredible...

When riding the train, don't put your bag right next to you like you don't want anyone sitting there. They paid they're $2, just like you did and they can sit anywhere they want. In fact if you do act like you "vant to be alone", you may just start a fight. Just like what happened this morning no my way in. Dude put his bookbag next to him and for a while no one sat near him. Someone came on at 149th Street and politely asked him to move his bag. Dude ignored him. The other guy shoved his bag on the floor and the two of them got into it. Dude with the bookbag caught a beatdown. If you want to ride comfortably, don't ride the NYC transit-call a cab or drive!

Don't Want To Miss A Thing

2009-05-01T20:40:00.000-04:00

I could stay awake just to hear you breathing
Watch you smile while you are sleeping
While youre far away dreaming
I could spend my life in this sweet surrender
I could stay lost in this moment forever
Every moment spent with you is a moment I treasure

Chorus -
Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
Cause Id miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing
Cause even when I dream of you
The sweetest dream will never do
Id still miss you baby
And I dont want to miss a thing

Lying close to you feeling your heart beating
And Im wondering what youre dreaming
Wondering if its me youre seeing
Then I kiss your eyes
And thank God were together
I just want to stay with you in this moment forever
Forever and ever

Chorus

I dont want to miss one smile
I dont want to miss one kiss
I just want to be with you
Right here with you, just like this
I just want to hold you close
Feel your heart so close to mine
And just stay here in this moment
For all the rest of time

Chorus

Dont want to close my eyes
I dont want to fall asleep
I dont want to miss a thing

America's Favorite Past Time...Really?

2009-04-30T21:32:00.001-04:00

Baseball. It's said to be our national pasttime. I enjoy it as much as the next person (especially those tight uniforms). And that A-Rod...have mercy!
But seriously can someone tell me why we can build a better, bigger, grander Yankee Stadium: it broke ground August 16, 2006 and opened for its regular season game on April 16, 2009 and cost a whopping $1.5 billion dollars. We can build Citi Field for the Mets with all the bells and whistles: it broke ground November 13, 2006 and opened for its regular season on April 13, 2009 (March 29, 2009 for a college game) and cost $900 million dollars, yet in eight years we can't put a single building on the rubble that rocked our nation on September 11, 2001?

Where's the priority? What message are we sending out? It's crippling America's already tarnished name and reputation. We're showing the enemy that we are weak. That we cannot band together in times of difficulty.

WTF?!!

The Doctor Is In

2009-04-29T09:22:00.007-04:00

Nothing like panic and fear to get the day started. The thought of losing all my music had me in a frenzy!

Like many people I have an external hard drive at home for big files (photos, music, movies, etc.). I also keep my iTunes library on there. I have a desk top and a lap top at home. The desk top is old and I believe it won't be around too much longer. I'm getting the telltale signs (blue screen, not connecting, slow start-up...). Anyway, I wanted to transfer my iTunes library onto the laptop and make that the main storage location. As you can imagine there were wires were all over the place. In the middle of transferring, I accidentally knocked over the external hard drive, and it fell to the floor. Instantly I knew from the sound, that it was a wrap. My brother a computer tech confirmed it. The hard drive itself is damaged, however the data is recoverable...at a price. I checked around and was quoted prices starting at $500 all the way up to $2500. There's no way I'm paying that.

Seeking a less expensive alternative, I called Apple, and explained my situation. They told me there was a way to restore all my purchased items from day one to the present. I've built quite an extensive collection over the years and the fear of losing it had me on the edge! With my purchases saved, I now had to find a way to save my actual data. My brother told me of an application, CopyTrans, that would allow you to copy all data (music, videos, movies, tv shows, apps, etc) basically everything that you had on your iPod back into your iTunes library. This was good to here. . At one time this was not possible.

I have an 80 GB iPod classic with just over half full with a gazillion songs, a multitude of tv shows, over 50 music videos, carefully thought out playlists. These playlists get me through the day!! Yes, I take full advantage of its capabilities. It took just over an hour to transfer everything from my iPod to CopyTrans; then just over 3 hours from CopyTrans to my new iTunes library. There were some dupes that I just deleted. But now I will have a back-up and a back-up of my back-up!

Records

2009-04-25T18:40:00.000-04:00

Christmas one year, I received a record player (pre-iPod days). These were some of the 45 rpm records, yes I said "records" that I bought.

Love this girl!

HOT beat!

Differences

2009-04-25T10:10:00.000-04:00

In any relationship you're going to have differences of opinion. One person sees the glass from the right as half-full, the other sees it from the left as half-empty. How do you find your common ground?

Really and truly put yourself in the other person's shoes. Think how and why they said what they did and where they're coming from. When differences come up your first reaction may be surprise. Often, you may not realize what you're doing and how other people see you. What's important is not who's right or wrong, but how that person is feeling. That is the most important issue. If you can work through that, you're half-way home. Open your mind and your ears and listen to what the other is saying and in some cases what they're not. Keep in mind, not everyone reacts exactly as you do. Not everyone sees things exactly as you do. Not everyone thinks exactly as you do. I'm not saying back down or "give in", but really listen. Sometimes differences can be a good thing -- they can make you see yourself through another's eyes.

Hugh Knows?

2009-04-24T15:52:00.000-04:00

Hugh Jackman: I'm Not Gay Us Magazine - April 23, 2009 10:47 AM PDT

Us Magazine Despite rumors to the contrary, Hugh Jackman is not gay.

"I'd be happy to go and deny it, because I'm not," he says in this Sunday's Parade magazine. "But by denying it, Im saying there is something shameful about it, and there isnt anything shameful."

Questions about the star's sexuality surfaced when he played gay Australian songwriter Peter Allen in Broadway's The Boy from Oz, for which he won a Tony award in 2004 and performed in his native Australia in 2006.

"The questions about sexuality I find more here in America than anywhere else, because its a big hang-up and defines what people think about themselves and others," the actor, 40, adds. "Its not a big issue in Australia."

Plus, Jackman -- who is best known for his role as the enraged mutant Wolverine in the X-Men franchise -- attests that he is happily married to his wife of 13 years, Deborra-Lee Furness.

"Shes the most honest person I've ever met. The worst liar. Can't do it," he says of Deb, eight years his senior. "Everything she feels comes out. This is just the long way of saying shes not jealous of my success, no. It's not in her DNA. Every person I've ever worked with has ended up liking Deb more than they like me."

He adds: "Im a little behind in the wit department, and shes always, Come on, Hugh, keep up! Keep up! She looks a lot like Kim Novak, but she's from the Ethel Merman school with her humor."

The couple have two multiracial children, Oscar, 8, and Ava, 3.

"Mixed-race babies have such a hard time being adopted that Deb and I checked off that box specifically when we were filling out our forms," he tells Parade. "Our lawyer brought the form back to us and said, This is not the time to be politically correct. Are you sure this is what you want? We were definite about it."

Does the star, who immerses himself in philosophy and meditation in addition to his family, have plans to adopt more? "No!" Jackman says. "Wow. Thats the first time I've ever said that so emphatically and on-the-record. For Deb and me, our family is the most important thing to us, but we travel so much that we fear if we have more kids, it'll be too much."

http://twitter.com/usweekly

22

2009-04-24T09:20:00.002-04:00

Not So Happy Anniversary

2009-04-20T13:42:00.011-04:00

While getting ready for work this morning, I heard something that made me stop in my tracks. I heard it was the ten year anniversary of the Columbine Tragedy. I couldn't believe it: April 20, 1999.

Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold were the perpetrators.

Their plan was to set propane bombs throughout the school to cause a diversion. When panicked students came running out, they would shoot them. However, when the bombs failed to explode Harris and Klebold armed themselves with their weapons, walked toward the building. At approximately 11:19 am the gunmen pulled out their shotguns and began shooting at the West Entrance of the school. Harris then removed his trench coat and took out a 9 mm semi-automatic carbine, and aimed it down the West Staircase. Harris and Klebold then turned and began shooting south at students sitting on the grassy knoll opposite the West Entrance of the school. The murderous rampage continued after the two shot their way into the cafeteria. It is speculated that Klebold did this to see why the bombs failed to explode. From there the two attempted to shoot at students near the soccer field, but luckily did not hit anyone. They threw pipe bombs at they made their way towards the West Entrance, none of which detonated. After approximately 23 minutes of the bloody rampage, the pair went into the science area and threw a small fire bomb into an empty storage closet. They proceeded into the cafeteria where they were recorded by security cameras. The recording shows Harris kneeling on the landing and firing a shot toward a propane bomb, unsuccessfully attempting to detonate it. It was here that Klebold lit a Molotov cocktail and threw it at the propane bomb. As the two left, the cafeteria it exploded, partially detonating one of the propane bombs.

They left the cafeteria headed upstairs roaming the school, shooting aimlessly. At 12:02 pm, the shooters re-entered the library and shot at police through the west windows. Then at approximately 12:08 pm, they moved over near bookshelves where they shot themselves, committing suicide.

Bombs were found throughout the day all over the school including the parking lot, the roof and Klebold's car. At 10:45 pm, the bomb in the car detonated when an officer tried to defuse it. No one were injured, but the car of course was damaged.

When it was over, 12 students and one teacher were killed and 24 students injured as a direct result of the massacre. 3 more were injured indirectly as they attempted to escape the school.

Eric Harris (left), Dylan Klebold (right)

The massacre provoked debate regarding gun control laws, the availability of firearms in the United States, and gun violence involving youth. The shooting also resulted in an increased emphasis on school security, and a moral panic aimed at social outcasts, the gun culture, the use of pharmaceutical anti-depressants by teenagers, violent films and music and violent video games.

Weapons used: Intratech TEC-DC9, Hi-Point 995 Carbine, Savage 67H pump-action shotgun, Stevens 311D double barreled sawed-off shotgun.

QOTD
In your opinion has security gotten better or worse in schools across the country?

Silly

2009-04-19T20:15:00.002-04:00

Was off Friday, so the 3-day weekend was a welcomed treat! Spent some quality time with the two men in my life. While relaxing and watching a movie earlier today, I heard the song 'Silly' and for some reason my mind transported me back to a time when I was unsure of myself and always seeked love and affection from people who I knew were no good for me. Yet, I went out of my way to be available to them. Told my friends they were into me and really cared, when I knew deep down inside, it was a lie. I can definitely relate to the lyrics of this song. Call it low self-esteem, wanting to fit in, to be liked or all of the above. That was me many years ago.

Today, I'm settling into a more confident person. The me of today is a very different person than the me of yesterday. I was fortunate to find someone who can return my love and all that I have to offer. No more lying to others or myself. Something my aunt always told me, rings in my head, "Not everyone is going to like you, no matter what you do. Don't get hung up on trying to make people like you." I try to live by that. I'm going to be me. I'm going to respect and be true to myself. Whoever doesn't like it-too damned bad.

I used to put other people first, thinking that would make them like me. Little did I know I was doing the opposite. Now, I come first, and true to the law of attraction - positivity follows. I'm in control and love the new me.

The Original~

A great remake. Taral Hicks has an awesome voice~

Question of The Day
Have you ever been a fool for love?

The Right One

2009-04-16T20:35:00.010-04:00

Had a doctor's appointment today. Arrived downtown early, decided to get something to eat. I sit down with my food, next thing I know someone walks over and stands next to me. Feeling an attitude coming on, I turn. I realize it's my ex uncle in-law. Let's call him Steve. My aunt used to be married to him. I haven't seen him in years. He looked great! Let me give you some background:

He and my aunt were married close to eight years. Now I love my aunt. She's a giving person and will look out for you 'til the end. But, she's extremely bossy and needs to have things her way. She always had to be in control; call the shots. I have no doubt that she and Steve loved her very much, but in the end I believe she pushed him away. In the beginning he looked past it because he wanted to be with her. But like anything else, the constant verbal abuse and bickering weathered their relationship. Eventually he got tired of being belittled. Tired of being embarrassed. Her ways was slowly emasculating him-it was the beginning of the end. After eight years, he turned and walked away.

When they split it was a terrible time for my aunt. Her health failed, she lost her job. She was depressed. It was a dark and lonely time for her. Now years later, my aunt is doing okay. She's single, but she has a job she enjoys, but I know she's lonely. She never had any children and lives alone in a big house. She no longer has a husband to welcome her home, give her massages, run out in the middle of the night if she wanted something. Everything that Steve would do to please her. She took him for granted. I know she's had to think about him over the years. My entire family loved Steve. He was the kind of guy that would do anything for my aunt. He put up with a lot where another man would not.

Fast forward to today. Steve lost about 100 lbs, he looks fantastic. He's remarried and lives in Hartsdale, has a great job and has two children. He told me he's the happiest he's ever been. I'm glad, he deserves it.

I love my aunt and I want her to be happy. It's not too late if she would only let go of the tight grasp she has about having everything go her way. It goes to show you, they're two great people -- just not great for each other. I pray that my aunt finds the happiness she so truly deserves.

When you have the 'right one', anything is possible. You're unstoppable! I'm glad I found my 'right one'.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Have you had or have the 'right one'?

Inspector Gadget

2009-04-14T22:06:00.004-04:00

For an early birthday gift I received the BlackBerry Bold. There we were checking out phones. Talking of upgrading and browsing over the different makes and models. I look up and my baby surprised me with the smartphone. Tonio made me blush right there on 5th Avenue.

Yes, I admit it, I'm a gadget freak: iPod, BlackBerry, camcorder, digital camera, Kindle, laptop. Love it all. Can't help it. I'm a sucker for technology.

The part I like the least however is getting used to the new features and bringing over the old contacts/info to the new phone. I was pleasantly surprised at the ease of transferring my information from my old phone to the new one. It was user friendly, self explanatory and quick! Shortly I was texting, taking and sending pictures sepia, black and white and color and watching You Tube in HD -- yes it has an HD screen. Insane I know.

My favorite feature on the Bold, I would have to say (for now) is 'BlackBerry App World'. This is similar to the iPod's applications. You can download different applications in every genre: Entertainment, Games, Maps, Music & Video, News & Weather, Banking, Travel, Sports, etc. Among them is Shazam-I'm feeling this. You select it and place it in the vicinity of any song playing and (more times than not) you'll get the name of the song and artist, album. It's a great feature. Sure to end those nights of arguing over "What was the name of that song?" or "Who sang that?" I also downloaded Pandora. It's a streaming music service that lets you select your favorite artists, genres and that's all it'll play. Your own personalized music station.

With all these features and more, you ask, "Will it make my iPod obsolete?" Only time will tell.

QOTD - Question of the Day

What do you have a passion for? What is your favorite gadget/thing?

Happy Friggin' Easter

2009-04-13T11:12:00.005-04:00

Had a great Easter...overall.
Spent it with my immediate family: Tonio and Junior -- thanks for a lovely day. To my special guys-I love you with all my heart. And my best friends in the whole wide world. Thank you Fabby, for the food, the atmosphere. You made it very special. I love you.
Baz, Val, Jay et al., thank you for the company and conversation. As always it's an honor to call you my friends. Love you guys.

Okay, okay now back to why I have the Easter Bunny in a noose ---
I was a little perturbed. On Saturday, my mother tells me she invited my aunt and grandparents over for Easter. I told her okay, what time are they coming? Because I have plans. You would have thought I used the last bit of her Oil of Olay Skin Regenerist or something. Her head spun around and she said "You're not going to be there? Where are you going?". I told her I made plans with my friends weeks ago. With her face frowning, she said "They're not your family. How often do you see your family". Right away the Taurus in me wanted to charge at her full throttle and knock her into July 4th. I responded "My friends are my family. They're there for me no matter what without judgment." She looked at me. I took it a step further. I lashed out, "What is the real reason you're upset? What's the problem?" As my voice raised, she backed down.

I suspect...no, I know she's uncomfortable with my relationship with Tonio and that's fine. She'll grow into it-she has no choice. During a recent conversation with Tonio, something he said rings true in this situation. I want my mother in my life because well she's my mother and I love her. But I don't need her in my life. That may sound a little harsh, but she has to realize in the end she has to respect Tonio, "us" and my decisions.

She probably has no idea of some of the things I found out over the years. That growing up there were a few decisions she made that I know she won't want brought up. I wouldn't do that. It's childish. But in the end she was allowed to make those decisions. I'm a grown ass man dawg (a la Cedric the Entertainer in The Kings Of Comedy -- okay I digress) so let me make my decisions. I think I've done okay up until now.

That said I hope all had a great Easter. :-D

How did you all spend the day?

Azucar!

2009-04-10T11:58:00.001-04:00

Representing my Cuban side, Celia Cruz!

My Lips Hurt

2009-04-07T21:15:00.002-04:00

Tie me up, tie me down...

63 + Sunshine = Orchard Beach

2009-04-05T22:40:00.007-04:00

The weather turned out to be great today! Just enough of a good breeze with plenty of sun and warm air.
Started today off with some rest. Did some much needed cleaning around the house. Then hit Orchard Beach to play some paddleball. I didn't think they were open -actually the beaches are "officially" closed, but the parks, basketball and handball/paddleball courts are open. It wasn't bad at all. People were walking their dogs, flying kites, sunning themselves, skating and playing ball. The basketball hoops were busy. A couple of kids were playing badminton. You had the old timers & the youngsters playing handball and paddleball.

We arrived shortly after 1 pm and there were still plenty of open courts. I guess the real crowd doesn't come until Memorial Day. That officially opens beach season and it'll be almost impossible to get space then. So from now until then it looks like we found a new spot to get a good workout on!

Followed that up some 'adult time' and a good dinner with Tonio and junior. Even managed to get some laundry done.
Since the weekends go so fast, I try to fit in the necessities. Everything else can wait.

Junior, the budding photographer, took these shots of us on the courts.

63

2009-04-05T11:47:00.004-04:00

Do my eyes and ears deceive me? Did the weatherman say today there's an expected high of 63 degrees?

I'm taking full advantage. Gonna get some sun and fresh air while I can. Who knows how long this will last?

Happy Birthday

2009-04-04T11:52:00.003-04:00

APRIL 4th

Happy Birthday, Baz. You're a year older, a year wiser, a year better. Set your sights high and keep soaring!
May this year bring you happiness, contentment and love. You deserve it. Thanks for always being there during the good and the bad. Thank you for not judging but for protecting.
You're the best friend a guy could have. Here's to you. Cheers!

Soulful Relationship

2009-04-02T19:50:00.003-04:00

A friend passed this email onto me the other day. Thought I'd pay it forward...

A Soulful Relationship

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye."

Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really important.

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious.

If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life", you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.

Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

Q. What keeps a relationship strong?

Answer: Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note). Sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email.

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment. Don't try to control one another.

Learn each others family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless.

Don't put pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion.

Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think. Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight.

Always to try to be a little kinder than is necessary.

The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the i. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Freaky Friday

2009-03-28T16:08:00.005-04:00

If you're like me, you hate being sick.
Wednesday I woke up with a sore throat. Didn't think much of it. By Thursday, my throat wasn't that bad, but I had post nasal drip. UGH! Yesterday, I woke up with a mild headache, stuffy nose and sneezing fits up the ying-yang!

My co-worker is out plus I wanted to save my days so I went in. All day long I was sneezing, blowing my nose and coughing. Couldn't tell if it was a cold or an allergy. (No fever so I suspect it's an allergy) I must've went through a whole box of tissues. Thank goodness for Puffs plus, that lotion makes all the difference!

From the time I got in, I kept thinking about going home! I had it all planned. I was going to take the express bus home so I could sleep on the bus. Pick up junior and head home. Why is it the best laid plans have flaws? I left around 5:30 and headed straight toward the bus stop. I turned the corner and found it odd that the line was 30-35 people deep! I'm glad I got there when I did. Within ten minutes, 9 people were in back of me. Was there no end in sight? We were all wondering what happened? Finally a bus came. It looked to be about half full. There was no way I was getting on this bus, I'd have to wait for the next one...from the way the line looked, the one after that as well!

When the bus came the driver informed us that the bus ride was going to be a long one, because they had just closed the Whitestone Bridge. Apparently an M.T.A. construction truck struck an overhead road sign on the Queens-bound plaza of the Bronx-Whitestone Bridge causing the steel sign structure to crash down on all six lanes. Traffic was being rerouted to the Throgs Neck and Robert F. Kennedy Bridges. There went my relaxing ride home.

I about-faced, hit the subway, picked up junior and was home by 7:20. I fixed something quick for him to eat and I was in the bed by 8. My head was pounding by then. I took an Allegra D and Advil Cold & Sinus medicine and I was out for the count. Tonio called around midnight, we spoke briefly and I fell back out. I didn't get up until this morning around 10:45.

Usually if I sleep that long, my body aches. Not today. The headache and stuffiness is still there, only not as bad. I'm going to just rest this weekend. The body is calling for it. This too shall pass.

I Now Pronounce You Husband and Ex-Husband

2009-03-26T16:04:00.006-04:00

Perusing the news online I came across an article that had me doing a double take. It seems a couple in Omaha, Nebraska just got married. This is the second time for her (Nicole, 42) and first time for him (Mathew, 22). Shortly after their wedding, she had left a job and found a temp position and he lost his higher-paying job. Naturally they fell behind in rent and the bills started piling up. Within a couple of months, Mathew landed a temporary job at Wal-Mart but by then their finances were much too shaky for them to be on their own. The solution: the ex-husband Craig, also 42, suggested his ex-wife and new husband move in with him. Nicole agreed.

On the flip side, Craig and Nicole's two daughters (ages 7 and 6) no longer have to shuttle between two households, as they're all under one roof, never need a babysitter, take turns making meals and is a good way to save money. Craig and Nicole said that when they were going through a divorce just four years ago in 2005, they would have never thought of striking this deal. But they were able to put the nasty custody battle behind them and move on years ago, before Nicole ever met Mathew. Now especially in this tough financial climate, it seems beneficial for all.

Craig lives in a three-bedroom, one-bath home. Nicole said the transition has been smooth and great for the kids and for their benefit, irrespective of finances, she thinks it's a living situation they'll stick with for at least five to ten years! What she is trying to teach her girls is that divorced parents can work together and be friends.

The ex-husband Craig says "I don't hear them, so we're not going there. There's a bathroom between our two bedrooms." Craig hasn't dated since the divorce. He said it's because he's been focused on work and taking care of the kids. Nicole, however, said that she and her husband are forever trying to get Craig on the dating scene and want him to meet someone special. She also quoted as saying, "He'd have to find a very open-minded woman because we don't plan on going anywhere anytime soon."

I can find about 10 things wrong with that! LOL
I know people say ‘never say never’, but I don't think I could. 1) I have too many family and friends that I could live with if God forbid matters got that bad. And 2) you know your boy Tonio ain’t having it! Living with an ex and he’s single?! Oh hell no! It ain’t going down like that! The 3 of us will be living in a cardboard box first!
But hey it works for them (for now anyway), so who am I to judge? I just know it couldn't be me. I’d love to see what happens 9 – 12 months from now. Maybe I’ll keep the reporters name and see if they can do a follow up story.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT
Could you live with an ex and presently be in a relationship under any circumstance?

Pass The Bamboo

2009-03-23T20:06:00.000-04:00

Bamboo Keyboard & Mouse
For Computer Users - Micro Innovations offers a keyboard and mouse made of bamboo—a sustainable material. Both simply plug into USB ports, and you’re ready to go—on PC or Mac. (Though the PC controls are a bit more intuitive.)
Price: Keyboard is $40, Mouse is $20

To check out this and other hot items, log onto the website: http://www.mic-innovations.com/

To The Groom

2009-03-23T11:46:00.004-04:00

IN THE NEWS

(CNN) -- Actor Bruce Willis married model-actress Emma Heming over the weekend in the Turks and Caicos Islands, the actor's publicists announced.

A small, private ceremony was held at the actor's home in the islands in the West Indies on Saturday, according to publicists Rogers and Cowan.

It is the second marriage for Willis, 54, and the first for Heming, 30. The couple met through friends and have been together for more than a year, the publicists said.

At the wedding were Willis' daughters, Rumer, 20; Scout, 17; and Tallulah Belle, 14. Their mother and Willis' first wife, actress Demi Moore and her husband, actor Ashton Kutcher, also attended the ceremony.

Willis and Heming will have a civil ceremony when they return to California, the publicists said.

I for one am glad that Bruce remarried. I've been a fan of his since his Moonlighting days. When Demi and Ashton got married there was a big hoopla. I'm glad that the spotlight is now on Bruce. Demi isn't the only one to marry a younger spouse.
Congrats man!

The Magic of Music

2009-03-22T04:05:00.013-04:00

After a full week of trains, buses, work, cooking, dishes, homework, telephones, computers glitches, meetings, blackberry issues, calendar scheduling, cleaning bathrooms, laundry, ironing, etc. you tend to want to relax on the weekend. That was me yesterday.

I couldn't really rest because Tonio and I were invited to celebrate our friend Evelyn's birthday at Hudson River Cafe'. Heading downtown, I was kind of quiet, had a lot on my mind. It was a pretty big turn out, I saw people I haven't seen in a while and even met some new people. Evelyn looked fantastic! She had on a red top with sparkling diamond-like detail forming a "V" in the front, fitted dark blue jeans and red hot high heels. Topping it off were her shiny diamond hoop earrings. Yes, this was her night. I greeted everyone, made my introductions.

I saw Mari and her girlfriend, Lulu or was it Nunu? (Hey the music was loud!). They came all the way from Jersey. They hadn't known anyone else there and were so happy when we walked in. Still I was kind of worn from my hectic week. About an hour and a half into the party, a hip hop song came on and I bolted into the 'now'. I danced and would continue to do so for the rest of the night. The DJ played hip hop, R & B, rap, reggae and Spanish music. Let's just say I sweated so much, my drawers were soaked! Thought a primarily 'straight' environment (my gaydar pointed out a few 'members'), Tonio and I managed to dance together and initially raised a couple of eyebrows. But by the end of the night those same people when leaving came over to us to shake our hands and say goodbye. Music seemed to bring everyone together. I guess they realized we were all there for Evelyn and to have a good time. Who cares what sexual orientation people are! I was in my own world on the dance floor. Though half Latino, I am a bit challenged when it comes to salsa and merengue, but tried my best after being coerced on the dance floor by Evelyn's sister, Millie who really knows how to shake it! She pulled me up and gave me some lessons. Good thing I'm a quick learner. When the bachata came on, all bets were off, though! I had to sit down.

Three hours later I was still dancing. Our crowd took over as we revived the dances of yesterday: the wop, the prep, the running man, the Kid 'N Play, the Jerry Lewis, and a couple of others I couldn't name but joined in. You name it, we took it back. By the end of the night, I felt recharged and was feeling good. (Though now my feet are throbbing like Fred Flintstone). Just goes to show you the magic of music. It's just what the doctor ordered.

Happy Birthday, Evelyn. May you have many more! You looked absolutely fabulous last nite!
Thanks for having us. Love you!

NAME THAT SONG
Is there a particular song that gets you up and on the dance floor?

The Lady of Laughter

2009-03-21T15:37:00.008-04:00

Q&A

FIRE! PT. 1

FIRE! PT. 2

NO FRILLS

ELEPHANT STORY

THE DENTIST

QUESTION OF THE DAY
Sometimes all we need to do is laugh. Can you think of anyone who can make you laugh the way Carol Burnett and gang used to make me laugh?

Time

2009-03-16T11:12:00.006-04:00

This weekend felt like 'a weekend'. It's funny, when I have two or sometimes even three days off, I come back to work on Monday and I'm like, "Dag, where did the time go?". It doesn't seem like I've had any time off.

This past weekend, Tonio and I had one day to ourselves (Junior's was with his mother). We spent time with good friends (C&M), watched a movie, talked, had some all out sweaty, earth shaking, leg spasming (is that a word?) love-making...three times!!!, ate brunch and dinner out, did some real shopping: shoes, clothes, toiletries, etc., spent time with our other "boyz"-Busta and Bruce and although everything was crammed into 24 hours, it felt like so much more.

It just goes to show you it's not the amount of time you have, but what you do with it and who you're with. We don't realize what a few minutes, even seconds can do. It can make life-altering changes. Time is something that once gone, you can never get back. You can't buy it, but you can lose it. So spend it wisely.

Baby, thanks for making all my time worthwhile.

Family Gay?

2009-03-14T08:01:00.008-04:00

IN THE NEWS:

Below is an article I came across.

Fox's "Family Guy" is coming under fire for it's "Gay Gene" episode, in which Peter Griffin voluntarily gets injected with the "gay gene" as part of a medical experiment. And though the show is a favorite among gays, many, including GLAAD, are crying foul.

Make no mistake: the jokes came fast and furious, and while many relied on the oldest stereotypes in the books, (limp wrists, musicals), things got a bit dicier with references to orgies, glory holes and fisting.

Personally, I was ok with it. While a couple of things made me a bit uncomfortable (including the bizarre bit when Chris hits Lois), I am a fan of off-color humor at the expense of anyone and everyone...including myself and my friends.

Moreover, the easy jokes were counterbalanced by meaningful messages, which ultimately carry more weight than all the cheap shots combined. Peter's wife, Lois, though saddened by the fact that her husband is now gay and has left her for a man, decides to support Peter: "A person’s sexual identity is no more a choice than the color of his skin. This is who you are. I can’t change you and it would be wrong for me to try". This sentiment (when was the last time you heard that expressed on national TV?), coupled with Brian's disapproval of Straight Camp and Baby Stewie's twisted bible-thumping rhetoric, reveals where the show's heart lies.

But it's a fine line between laughing AT and laughing WITH sometimes - so what about you? Were you LYAO or disheartened by the show's representation of gays? If you haven't seen it, watch the show in its entirety on hulu.com and decide for yourself.

Personally, I've never been a fan, nor watched an episode, but I just may have to to see what all the hubbub is.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
Where do you stand? Offended or harmless TV?

Love You More

2009-03-13T12:43:00.000-04:00

Judging Books

2009-03-12T19:53:00.003-04:00

My Day: The local bus is super late this morning getting me to the train so I take the express bus to work. I get in later than usual and jump into my day with both feet running. I take the train home, wait for the bus, stop off at the supermarket, and pick up my son. It's been that kind of a day.

I figure I'll treat myself and take a cab home. The black Lincoln pulls up and I see the driver. He's Jamaican, long dreads, on his cell, heavy accent. I figure here we go. From past experience as soon as I get in the car, the island music is blaring and I can't hear myself think. I have to ask them to turn it down. WRONG!

Was I in for a surprise. I get in the cab to music, but it's not Jamaican music. I was surprised, shocked in fact to hear- -Kenny Rogers. And he was singing one of my favorite songs, The Gambler. I buckled up, sat back and joined in the chorus. He had a Kenny Rogers CD playing.

You have to get into the lyrics, they are so true!! Needless to say, here I was making an assumption based on what I saw only to find out, it was nothing like I thought. Talk about judging a book by it's cover.

Chorus:
You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away and know when to run
You never count your money, when youre sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
When have you made a quick judgement about someone thinking you had them pegged to the "T", only to find out you were totally wrong?

Beyond A Shadow Of A

2009-03-10T23:26:00.005-04:00

Doubt is an amazing movie. I see why Meryl Streep was in the running for the Best Actress Award. Her Irish-Bronx accent as authentic as ever. Philip Seymour Hoffman, Amy Adams and Viola Davis also turn out strong, compelling performances.

Just when you think you know what it's about, you get thrown a curve. By the end of the movie, I was speechless. Set in the Bronx in 1964. The movie will blow you away.

I learned that no matter how much of the 'facts' you think you have; don't be too sure. All is not what it seems. Doubt can be a strong thing.

Inches

2009-03-08T15:25:00.000-04:00

It's beginning to look a lot like...St. Patrick's Day? So why are we still getting snow? And not just a dusting-inches!
While inches could be good, when dealing with snow, that's never the case.

I've been one to appreciate all the seasons, but more and more I'm really dreading the winter months and the cold. I've always wanted to head west and in my old age, that just may happen. I don't forsee growing old(er) in frigid weather.

Like the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme: ...Kinfolk said "Jed move away from there"Said "Californy is the place you ought to be" . So they loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly. Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT: Do you know people who were born, lived and died on the same block? Do you ever think of moving away and making a life in another city...state...country?